


Every You, Every Me

by girloncaffeine



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Renaissance, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Asgard, Aztec Empire, Banishment, Brothers, Crusades, Incest, Loki Feels, M/M, Middle Ages, Miðgarðr | Midgard, Odin's Bad Parenting, Reincarnation, Thor Feels, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:01:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1287064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girloncaffeine/pseuds/girloncaffeine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Odin is repulsed by the discovery that the love between his sons is greater than it should be between brothers and that they practice a different kind of activities than they should, so he decided to punish them. This results in Thor and Loki spending hundreds of years apart, forced to live as common people and rid of all their previous memories. Sometimes, they manage to meet, albeit not recognizing each other, yet each reincarnation of them feels an unexplainable attraction to the other man. These are the stories of their meetings, from the medieval times till today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Sucker love is Heaven sent  
> You pucker up, our passion's spent  
> My hearts a tart, your body's rent  
> My body's broken, yours is bent  
> Carve your name into my arm  
> Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed  
> 'Cuz there's nothing else to do  
> Every me and every you  
> (Placebo - Every You Every Me Lyrics)

One would think that a life of a god was easy, living in plenty, enjoying immortality, unbothered by problems of regular folk, watching as ages go by, while you remain the same, surrounded by your loved ones. Well, that was true in one way or another, at least as long as you followed the rules of the world you lived in. If you were a good child who listened to your parents, if you followed the advice of the elderly, trained how to become a respectable scholar or an honourable warrior, chances were you were going to have a good life.

And having a good life, in Thor's and Loki's case, included finding a lovely wife and settling down, having a bunch of cute and well behaved children and continue to live and watch on as the worlds around them changed. Now that would have been something to make their father and the All-father of the Aesir, Odin, very proud of his sons. But faith had it differently and made a cruel joke on the almighty Odin, denying him the happiness he has hoped for.

What started out as a simple walk around his palace, ended up as a horrid family feud, for what Odin has seen that day, made him want to dig his only remaining eye out. The horror he witnessed enraged him, causing him to go berserk and do something what he would later come to regret.

In a secluded, dark corner of a corridor, he saw his son Thor in the middle of an activity that should have been kept in the bedroom. Or in this case – it shouldn't have happened anywhere. All Odin saw was his broad back and messy blond hair, as he was pinning someone into the wall. No father should want to observe his child in the midst of such deed, so he decided to ignore it and passed by him unnoticed as quickly as he could. Thor was so focused on devouring his latest pursuit that he sensed no other presence in the corridor. But then, Odin heard a voice too familiar to ignore and it wasn't coming from Thor.

"Ah! Stop it! Not here, darling."

That voice belonged to his other son, Loki.

Odin turned on his heel and rushed back, just to see as Thor was lifting Loki up, while his brother wrapped his legs around his back.

The expression of pleasure on Loki's face as well as Thor's low grunts were something that continued to haunt Odin for years to come. He just stood there, unable to speak, screaming on the inside.

As Thor pushed the other man higher up, Loki opened his eyes for a moment and noticed their father, silently standing in the corridor, his face pale as if he were a ghost. He pushed Thor away instantly, causing him to fall back on his ass, while he himself quickly pulled up his pants, trying to hide their shame. But it was too late, they were already discovered.

"What is this madness, what are you doing?!"

Odin finally spoke out, his voice filled with anger and disappointment, storming through the halls and making the blood in their veins go cold.

"Father!" Thor stood up from the floor. "This is not what it seems! We were merely fighting, you know how we are, bickering all the time, unable to agree." He forcibly smiled and looked first at Odin and then at Loki, whose expression was far more serious.

"Right, Loki?!" Thor wanted a confirmation but his brother was silent.

"Do you think me a fool?!" Odin growled from the depth of his lungs. "I may have one eye left but I am not blind. Your prick is hanging out of your bottoms."

Thor quickly tugged his penis back into his trousers and looked at the floor, all red in his face.

"This… happens sometimes, I don't know why. I should probably find some new clothes. These are… malfunctioning." He still tried to make it as if Odin was wrong to come to the conclusion that the two of them were fucking.

"What have I done to deserve this? Mating like animals under my roof?!" Odin continued.

"No! I told you, we were just fighting! Tell him, Loki! Loki?!" Thor's voice sounded more and more desperate with each sentence that came out of his mouth.

"Father!" Loki looked straight at Odin, completely disregarding Thor's pleading. "I am sorry for disappointing you."

"You should have thought of that before fornicating with your own brother." Odin's look was stern, more angry than disappointed. "What will I do with the two of you now?!"

"Father…" Thor started but was interrupted by Odin.

"Silence! I wish not to see or hear from the two of you for a while. Once I figure out how to deal with this matter, I shall call for you. Until then… try and not to show yourselves before my eyes. Deviants!" He said and turned around, leaving Thor and Loki by themselves, in the dark of the corridor where he first stumbled upon them.

First, they both stood there in silence, still unable to comprehend what just happened.

"Loki…" Thor finally spoke out, moving a step closer to Loki, trying to grab his arm and pull him closer.

"Get away from me!" Loki screamed angrily, slapping away Thor's hand.

"Brother, I…" Thor's eyes have gotten wider; he seemed really hurt by this action of Loki. He didn't know why he was getting denied all of the sudden, when just few moments earlier he was more than welcome to touch him all over his body.

"I told you! I told you not to do it here! But you just wouldn't listen, always so stupid and insatiable. This is your fault!"

"I didn't think he will see us. I'm sorry." Thor said sincerely.

"You never do! You never think! What's the point of having this huge head attached to your shoulders when you never use it?!" He hit Thor on the head with his palm and started walking away.

"Loki! Where are you going?" Thor started following him, while rubbing the place on his forehead where Loki has landed his hit. It sure stung a bit, but he was ready to disregard it since he had a bigger problem on his hands.

"Where does it look like I'm going?! To my chambers, where I'll lock myself up and if I'm lucky enough I'll die from shame before we have to face the old man." Loki hissed.

"Wait! Shouldn't we talk about what just happened? What do you think father will do to us?" He walked one step behind Loki, following him all the way to his rooms.

"Knowing father, he's probably already planning our wedding." Loki said sarcastically.

"You think?" Thor's face suddenly brightened up but he soon realised he was yet again being a target of his brother's quick wit. "I know you're joking, I'm not that stupid."

"You're stupid enough to fuck me in the corridor for the whole world to see. After I told you I don't want it! This is on you, Thor! This is your fault! I fail to find words to explain how much I hate you right now!" Loki let it all out once they reached his door.

"You make it seem as if I have taken you against your will. Is that what you think of me? That I have defiled you, that I have forced myself upon you?" Thor just stood there, the heartbreak almost visible on his face. And what was that in the corners of his eyes? Tears?!

For a moment, Loki thought that blaming Thor for everything would not be such a bad idea after all. If he told Odin how he was forced by Thor, maybe at least he could face a lesser punishment or no punishment at all, since he was a victim of this brute after all.

His eyes sparkled for a moment, the wheels in his head turning, he was ready to congratulate himself on this bright idea, but then was when he saw it. That look in Thor's eyes… he resembled an abandoned overgrown puppy and not even Loki could kick a puppy.

"I swear, you'll be the end of me." Loki sighed, his facial expression softening and his arms opening up for an embrace. "Come here, you."

Thor didn't hesitate a second and he readily plunged into his brother's arms, digging his face in the crook of Loki's neck.

"I promise we'll get through this together, just don't hate me. I couldn't stand it if you hated me." He pushed Loki into the hardwood door and put his arms around him, placing his hands onto the small of Loki's back.

"I sure wish I hated you, Thor! It wouldn't have come to this if I hated you." Loki took a deep breath and gently stroked the blond locks that were resting on his shoulder.

All of the sudden, he felt something crawling up to his behind, namely, Thor apparently used this moment of cuddling to put his hands on Loki's ass, grabbing it and squeezing his cheeks tightly.

"What do you think you're doing?" Loki asked without breaking the contact.

Thor raised his head from Loki's shoulder and smiled devilishly.

"Continuing? We were interrupted and I didn't come. I feel all pent up now." He said bluntly, expecting Loki to understand.

"You fucking idiot!" Loki shouted, his knee connecting with Thor's crotch, causing him to end up curled up on the ground.

"Lokiiiii!" Thor winced in pain. "Why did you do this?" He was genuinely surprised.

"Just go and die, Thor!" Loki seeped with anger and went into his room, shutting the massive door with a bang, leaving Thor on the outside, crawling on the floor, trying but failing to get up.

"This hurts so much…." He gasped.

…

It didn't take much for Odin to call his sons to the throne room, where he was waiting for them, together with his wife Frigga. He walked up and down the hall, his hands on his back, looking older than usual, while Frigga tried to reason with him.

"You can't do this to them, they are our boys, our sons."

"Precisely because of that I can. What if someone was to find out about this, that my sons are incestuous sodomists who fuck each other under my roof, like wild animals? Has the house of Odin sunk so low?" He said desperately.

"No one has to know. This can stay between the four of us. Don't take my boys away from me, Odin." She said tearfully.

"There is no other way, Frigga. You haven't seen what I have seen. They were… Ugh, I can't close my eye without seeing that horrendous scene!"

"We can send them to the mountains for a year or two. Or into the forest. Until they cool off and think about what they have done, but not this. Because this is not only punishing them, but also us."

"Maybe we are the ones who should be punished. We raised them. We failed to notice. We ended up having two sons who prefer putting it into each other rather than getting married to nice women and giving us grandchildren."

"Maybe it's not that bad, Odin. They are not related by blood, maybe it's not that big of a deal."

"They were raised as brothers!" Odin yelled at his wife, causing her to take a step back. "Don't try to make it seem harmless, woman. Our children have brought dishonour on this house, on this kingdom. They need to see a punishment fitting to their sin."

Before she could reply to that, a servant announced Thor and Loki being ready to see their father.

As soon as they stepped into the huge hall, their mother ran to them, hugging one then the other, trying to tell them that everything was going to be all right as long as she was by their side and that she wouldn't let any harm come to them.

"I would like to speak to my sons alone." Odin said sternly, letting Frigga know she was not welcome there.

"Husband, please…" She tried to argue her case, but the old man was not giving in.

"It's ok, mother." Thor nodded and smiled at his mother gently, reassuring her to do as Odin says.

As she left the hall, she used the opportunity to squeeze both of their hands one more time, as a sign of support and understanding.

Once they were alone with father, they approached him and kneeled before him, ready to hear out his judgement.

Thor turned his head to his right, just to see Loki one more time. He hoped that maybe their eyes will meet, but Loki was looking straight ahead, not paying much attention to his older brother. Although his crotch was still throbbing from the kick it received earlier, all was already forgiven.

Odin cleared his throat and started.

"I thought about strangling the both of you with my bare hands, but your mother would probably hate me for it forever."

Thor gulped loudly, immediately averting his gaze from his brother, while Loki instinctively touched his own throat.

"I don't care what you have to say in your defence, for there is nothing that would excuse such a shameful deed. Out of love, or out of pure lust… I don't know why you did it nor do I know which is worse."

"We love each other!" Thor interrupted him (which was never a good idea), causing Loki to roll his eyes and Odin to feel nauseous.

"Oh, shut up, Thor!" Loki hissed angrily.

"But we do, don't we? That time in the garden, have we not exchanged the words of love?" Thor turned his head to Loki who now looked back at him, his face frightened.

"Don't do this. Not now."

"He has to know! He has to know that we didn't do it out of wantonness or boredom!" Thor stood up and continued, now speaking directly to Odin.

"I love this man. With all my heart and body! I know he is my brother even though we are not bound by blood… We are family, and I shouldn't have such feelings. But I do! I love him!"

Thor was unexpectedly enthusiastic in explaining his feelings, motioning with his hands, pounding his chest and spitting as he spoke.

On the other hand, Loki was silent, he remained kneeling in front of their father, his gaze focused on the floor. He hoped Thor would be finished soon, for he was really starting to feel dizzy from all of these recent events.

"Enough!" Odin grunted and ordered Thor to get back on his knees until the punishment has been said.

"How about you, Loki? Do you wish to say something in your defence?"

"Would my words change anything?" Loki asked with monotony in his voice.

"They wouldn't."

"Then I wish to stay silent." He answered, still looking at the floor.

"Loki!" Thor whelped.

"Silence!" Odin tried to force back his authority.

In the brief moment Loki has finally decided to throw his brother a quick glance, all he saw was disappointment and despair. But what was the point of standing up and proclaiming his forbidden love, when the old man has already made up his mind.

"What you need is time apart. Until you forget those feelings and desires you have for one another. You will not see each other, you will not hear each other, you will not know each other. You will be sent to Midgard, where you will live as ordinary folk, with no memories of this place, the lives you have left behind, or each other. You will be born into families you will consider your own and your paths shall never cross. And you will remain there for a millennium, being reborn each time miles away from each other, until you erase each other's existence from your minds and upon returning to Asgard, the other will be nothing but a distant memory."

"No! Father! You can't do this! You can't!" Thor started to be unruly, breathing heavily as he tried but failed to get up.

"Brother, don't make a scene…" Loki said and noticed his own hand was shaking.

"Didn't you hear him, Loki?! He wants to keep us apart for a millennium! That's one thousand years!"

"I know what a millennium is, thank you, Thor." Loki tried to remain his usual calm and collected self but somehow, he has started to feel this strange emotion of uneasiness around his heart. He grabbed his chest and noticed how his heart beat was much faster and louder than usual and not in a good way, like those times when he was in bed with Thor.

Frigga rushed into the throne room, apparently she has spent the whole time just outside the door, eavesdropping.

"Think about this one more time, husband, I beg of you!" She shouted, but it was too late.

Thor grabbed his head, trying to figure out the reason for this sudden dizziness and Loki was already on the floor, watching as the ceiling spun around him. Odin has cast a spell on them, one that would leave their bodies nothing but empty shells, while their spirits travelled to another realm, where they are to be reborn as other beings.

"What have you done to my children?!" Frigga wept as she threw herself on the floor, trying to bring her boys back, turning her attention from one to the other, caressing their lifeless faces. "I didn't even get to say goodbye…"

"A thousand years. It will fly by just like that, don't worry." Odin was of little comfort. "You'll see them again soon. Now we should prepare one of the chambers where they could rest peacefully. But not next to each other, of course. The chambers should be separate, we don't want to encourage them once they wake up."

He said and earned nothing but an angry glare from his wife.


	2. Theodore and Lot

Theodore was born on a stormy night in year 1075., somewhere in the countryside, in the middle of Kingdom of France, where nobody batted an eye once he was left at the gate of the monastery. At least he was given away to someone instead of being drowned in the river like an unfortunate kitten, so he could have been considered really lucky.

An unwanted child, blue eyed and with a hair of gold, people often wondered how come nobody wanted him. His parents from Midgard didn't want him, and his father in Asgard condemned him to live as this child, Theodore, his true identity forgotten, his love buried deep in his heart, where no one, not even himself, could find it.

He was raised by the monks, who had high hopes in him, that he himself will one day put on a robe, hang a cross around his neck and spread the word of God across the kingdom. For he was a good child, a golden child and as he grew, people around him started noticing he was unlike any other peasant hey had ever met. There was something in him, that made them wonder if maybe he was meant for bigger things in life than just be ordained.

A smile was always upon his face, ready to help to anyone who asked. The locals came for his help when they were in need. He will help out on the field, around the farm, he'll do anything, everything for his friends and neighbours, for that was how he was raised.

He spent his days helping others and his nights reading the Bible, trying to understand the word of God. Only on stormy nights would he get a little nervous, lying in his bed, tossing and turning, as if he was missing something, something he couldn't even remember existed. As much as he loved nights like those, he feared them as well, for they made him feel this way, nostalgic without a reason. But in the morning, everything would be just fine and he would regain his good will, continuing his peaceful countryside life, unbothered by the things he couldn't explain.

And then the day came, when pope has called upon all the knights and warriors of the realm, to join his 'holy' cause, to regain the city of Jerusalem and make it into a Christian stronghold.

Thor living as Theodore, raised as he was, decided to join the crusaders, leaving the plains and forests of France behind, wielding a sword, killing in the name of God, for that was what he was told to do. Serving under the command of Godfrey of Bouillon, he crossed half Europe and reached Middle East, leaving a bloody trail behind, a sin repented by that cross sewn onto his shirt and painted across his shield. For it was all done with a true cause on his mind.

In year 1099. he found himself in Jerusalem, inside the walls, as the city has fallen, leaving thousands of Muslims and Jews to flee for their lives. Those were the lucky ones, people who managed to escape and seek refuge outside of the city, the rest were slaughtered brutally on the spot.

And as the day came to its end, Thor felt he can no longer fight, the wound on his abdomen spouting blood, causing him to lose his consciousness. His last thought was that this might be the end and that he will probably die, but it wasn't such a bad notion, for he knew he would end up in Heaven - after all God was probably proud of the work he has done.

Three days later, he woke up, unable to recognize the place he was at, for he didn't quite imagine Heaven to be so… plain. But the face of the person before him sure belonged to an angel, causing Thor to smile and extend his arms in his direction.

"I gave him too much anaesthetic." The angel rolled his eyes and poured a cup of freezing water into Thor's face, causing him to jump up, which was quite painful, considering the stabbing wound.

"What are you doing?! You're not an angel!" Thor shouted at the man who just looked at him, confused.

"Um… who said I was one in the first place." He answered calmly and handed him a towel. "Here, wipe yourself off. And lie back down, you shouldn't be moving."

"Who are you?!"

"No one important. Now calm yourself down or you'll wake the rest of my patients up." The man ordered and brushed his black hair behind his ear. "You should be out of danger, but you still need to rest. I barely managed to sew your intestines back in, it would be a shame if you were to mess up the work."

He said and left Thor alone, surrounded only by other sleeping men, in what seemed to be a large tent serving as a temporary hospital.

He tried to remember if he has seen this man somewhere before, for there was something oddly familiar about his face and his green eyes and the way he rolled them when he was annoyed. But he couldn't have been one of the crusaders, right? Because, as long as Thor knew, they had no skilful men of medicine, only butchers who couldn't have done this marvellous job of sewing him up.

He touched his scar despite the pain and wondered about the mysterious man who was able to perform such a miracle.

The next few days he would use every opportunity to stop the man and ask him something, but the answer was never satisfying. When he came to change his bandages, he asked him if he could consider him a friend and all he got as an answer was a simple no. Being saved by this man made Thor feel connected to him in a way and wanted to get to know him better.

From his fellow injured men, he found out that the dark haired man's name was Lot and he was a half Muslim half Jewish man, trained in medicine and now allied with crusaders and healing their wounded. It wasn't much, but at least now he knew his name.

The next time he was paid a visit, he called him by his name.

"Hey, Lot!"

"I don't remember telling you my name." The man said as he removed Thor's stitches, inspecting the wound and its progress of healing.

"I guessed it." Thor smirked playfully but his smile soon turned into a painful expression, caused by his healer's hand pushing deeper into his wound.

"Are you mad? You're going to kill me?!" Thor cried out.

"Wouldn't that be a shame? It would make all my work in stitching you up worth nothing." He smiled wickedly, his hand still pressing.

"Let go!" Thor begged.

"You first, fair knight. Let go of me, let me be and I will do the same." He whispered into his ear, letting him know he had to stop with his questions and pestering.

"Fine…" Thor sighed. "I will…"

Once the pressure was off, Thor panted heavily, checking if there's blood on his stomach.

"I'm releasing you tomorrow morning, you recovered perfectly." Was the last thing he heard as the dark haired man walked away.

 

Loki returned to his house, throwing his medicine bag on the ground in anger. He cursed and poured himself a cup of wine, drinking it thirstily in one gulp.

At least one good thing came with this Christian invasion and that was the amount of alcohol they brought with themselves. In all his thirty years living on Earth as Lot, Loki never followed any rules for he belonged to no religion. His mother was a Jewish servant girl but he had never met her and his father was a wealthy Muslim merchant, or so the rumour said. It didn't matter, for streets of Jerusalem were the only parent Loki has known in this lifetime and it was here where he was raised. At least up until he was taken in by an old man of science, whose kindness he repaid with his body.

But it wasn't always that bad, it was thanks to that man he got an education and training in medicine which finally resulted in him inheriting his practice, along with the huge house and the garden after the man died from… 'natural' causes after drinking some poisonous wine.

In spite of all the bad things happening to him, Loki always managed to swim out on the surface, to survive even if it meant getting wounded in the process. Even upon the siege and fall of his city, he remained unharmed, thanks to his skills that were needed. And it wasn't that difficult, turning your back on the people who never accepted you in the first place, because of your mixed heritage.

Being cool and calculated was the only thing he has known and it was thanks to that he managed to survive this long, never feeling anything for anyone, hating the world and the people in it, then why did he finally feel something now?! Something opposite of hate and anger?

He was unable to rationalize the feeling of warmth around his heart upon seeing that sincere smile on Thor's face and the honesty in his clear blue eyes. No one has ever made him feel anything, then how come this big idiot made him all warm on the inside?!

"Go to Hell, knight!" He yelled to himself as he grabbed his chest, trying to calm his heart down, as he sought the assistance of sleeping potion in order to be able to fall asleep that night.

 

The next day, he ordered someone else to see 'Theodore' off, unable to face him. It was for the best, he thought. But he didn't count on that man's persistence, and soon, the young knight started bumping into him randomly in all places, pretending to be surprised by the meeting. Whether it was on the market or the inn, the young knight was always smiling at him goofily or waving a hello.

One day, after his shift has ended and he returned to his house, just as he poured himself something to drink, there was someone knocking on his door. His mind has told him answering the door will start an unwanted chain of events, but his heart was quicker and the door was open and there he was, standing before him, with that damned smile of his.

"I came for a check-up." Thor said and entered without being invited.

"I've seen you around the city, doing just fine, no need for one." Loki hissed away, walking two steps back, finding something eerily disturbing in Thor's presence.

"So, you've been looking for me?" Thor smirked victoriously, causing Loki to blush.

"I just happened to see you, everywhere I went, there you were. It was as if you were stalking me." He grunted.

"Maybe I was." Thor shrugged, his answer was sincere.

Loki looked at him, in awe, he wasn't used to people like this one.

"I wanted to thank you for healing me, but you never gave me the opportunity to approach you." He continued.

"I would have done it for anyone, it's my job, remember?! Helping people, even the enemy." Loki tried to keep his cool, but he soon lost it, for the sound from the outside made him shiver.

"Are you afraid of thunder?" Thor asked, amused by this new sudden change in 'Lot's' demeanour. He no longer stood before him proudly with an air of arrogance, but more modest, his posture hunched and pupils widened.

"No, it just came as a surprise. I hate thunder, it's a bad omen." He said as he remembered this was one sound of nature he has always hated. There was just something about it that made him shiver on the inside, he first thought it will pass once he becomes an adult, but with time, it has only gotten worse.

"It reminds me of home." Thor said nostalgically.

"If you miss your home so much you shouldn't have come here in the first place, you child." Loki snorted, proud of his quick wit, trying to play his fear of thunder off by focusing on someone else's weaknesses.

"I had to come here." The knight took another step in Loki's direction, closing the gap between them. "First, I thought of this as my holy duty, but now I see this all was supposed to happen so I could meet you." He lifted up his right arm and tried to cup Loki's face with his palm, upon which his hand was slapped away.

"Don't spout nonsense." He laughed at him. "You think this is destiny? No! It's nothing but a circumstantial accident that we ran into each other, one I wish to forget."

"Don't say that!"

"What do you know about life anyway, you were ready to sacrifice yours in the name of some faceless deity, you idiot!"

"And I did. I died that day from the wound and was resurrected by your hands." Thor came closer once again, now grabbing Loki's hands into his own, squeezing them tightly. "These hands!" He kneeled and kissed Loki's slender fingers, nuzzling his face in his delicate palms.

"What are you doing?" Loki sighed, unable to free himself from this tight grasp.

"I need you to heal me…" Thor mumbled still not letting go of Loki's hands.

Loki knew his defences were to fall any minute now, for seeing this large man on his knees made him feel weak in his own. He knew nothing could ever come out of this liaison, but he still caved in and disregarded the voices in his head telling him not to do it.

"What do you want?"

"You…" Thor looked up, his eyes sparkling.

"Fine… follow me." He whispered seductively into Thor's ear and walked slowly to his chambers, turning around just to see if he was behind him.

"What are you doing?" The knight was a bit confused by this sudden shift in personality.

"I'm healing you." Loki smirked as he disappeared in the dark room, causing Thor to quicken his pace in order to catch up.

He lit up some candles just so they wouldn't be in complete darkness and started to undress. He pushed Thor onto the bed, his expression still out of it.

"I assume you've never done it with a man? Being as religious as you are…" Loki said mockingly.

"Um… I never… with anyone, actually." Thor was grateful for the dim lightning, hoping the redness of his face wouldn't be as noticeable in this half dark room.

"Do you even have any idea of what's supposed to happen here?" Loki teased as he removed his last part of clothing, standing stark naked in front of the knight.

"I've seen sheep do it. And horses." Thor remembered his days helping out on the farms and answered bluntly.

Loki frowned as he reached for some oil and poured it over his hand.

"I'm not just some mare you're about to fill up with your semen, blondie."

"I know that. I'm going to fill you up with my love." He smiled as he tried to get rid of his breeches, uncovering his fresh scar, under which he was already half hard.

"You certainly have some nerve, boy, but remember one thing – this is it. After we do the deed, and your hunger's satisfied, we're done." He warned him as he pushed his fingers inside his tight entrance, trying to loosen it up quickly.

He finally straddled him, positioning himself right over Thor's cock, one hand on his shoulder the other guiding the throbbing member in. Thor arched his hips a bit, trying to get it in sooner than Loki intended but was soon met with a sharp pain in his abdomen.

"Mind you wound, I'd hate to see you bleed out in the middle of it." Loki pushed him down into the mattress, letting him know he's the one in charge.

"Ah! Lot!" Thor couldn't keep silent once he felt he was all the way in. It was a feeling unlike any other and he wanted it to last forever. "It's so warm inside you." He smiled wantonly.

"Don't speak, you're prettier when your mouth is shut." Loki licked his lips and brushed his hand gently over Thor's painful abdomen, causing him to whine.

As the slender body started moving up and down, Thor's hands flew to Loki's hips, cupping his ass and dictating the rhythm. He moved Loki up and down, enjoying the sensation that came from reaching that spot in the other man's body, the one that caused it to clench around his swelling.

It felt so good, Thor wondered how he managed to survive without this for all these years he has spent devoted to God and following the rules from the holy book. He wondered how he managed without this person who even in the midst of such a lewd act managed to stay graceful, moving perfectly above him, producing muffled moans of pleasure.

He disregarded the order from earlier, unable to stay silent.

"Ah, you're so good… Lot!" He grunted as he pushed his body up.

But nothing compared to the sweet sensation of spilling out and filling him up with his hot seed that came in waves. Just as he thought it was over, he spilled some more, arching his hips for a better angle.

When he noticed he was getting limp, he wanted to keep them in that position for a minute longer, but Loki was quick to flee from his embrace.

"Where are you going?" Thor grabbed his wrist, not letting him leave the bed.

"I need to clean myself up. Besides, I didn't finish." He motioned to his still erect cock. "Or do you wish to do it for me?" He laughed.

What followed surprised him greatly, as Thor was more than willing to help him out. He wrapped his hand around Loki's flesh and pumped it eagerly.

"What do we have here? You seem quite experienced in handy work, huh?" Loki said while breathing out loudly.

"Nights in monastery tend to get pretty lonely." He smiled, not backing down from what he was doing.

Loki tugged at the blond locks as he pulled Thor's head closer to his crotch, asking to be tended some more.

"Come on, give it a lick." He sneered, expecting him to back off and was pleasantly surprised upon feeling the wetness on his member, first in a form of licking and then completely engulfing it with his mouth.

Feeling the warmth of the knight's mouth around him, as his fingers were lost in his golden hair, he closed his eyes and threw his head back, wanting this feeling to last forever. He didn't last long and soon came all over Thor's mouth and face.

"What would your 'God' say if he saw you right now, indecent as you are, Theodore?" Loki lifted Thor's chin up and laughed, causing the man to blush.

"I'll probably burn in Hell for it." Thor said self-consciously and pulled himself away from Loki, wiping his lips with his hand. The salty aftertaste in his mouth lingered and he didn't mind it, not really, as it reminded him of what just happened.

"And yet that didn't stop you from coming over here tonight."

"I had nothing to lose." Thor shook his head. "But ultimately, it was worth it." He leaned into Loki, expecting to get a kiss, but was met with his hand over his lips.

"Now, let's not be sentimental. Especially not with that garbage in your mouth."

Thor looked at him, visibly hurt. "I thought that because you… gave yourself to me… that you might not hate me after all."

" Go home, knight, don't lose all of your dignity at once."

"Fine." Thor grunted and picked up his scattered clothes. "Thank you for healing me. Again."

"Oh and… what I said before, I meant it. This is it, don't come looking for me ever again. I know you might find it difficult after this, but…" Loki started but was interrupted midsentence by Thor's simple answer.

"Got it!" He clenched his teeth together and forced a smile. "I'll never bother you again, Lot." The look he gave him in the end was just heart breaking, noticeable even under the scarce lightning of the room. His large figure looked pretty miserable, all slouched and dragging his feet as he left the quarters.

After he was finally alone, Loki threw himself back on the bed, spreading his arms from one side to the other, enjoying his freedom. He wondered if it would have been better if he had let the knight stay over for the night, because judging by the sound of the rain coming from the outside 'Theodore' was about to have a long wet way back home.

"Nah… let him suffer a bit." He smiled to himself wickedly, wondering how long before the young crusader seeks out his body again.

 

Days passed quickly, but there was no sign of the knight on Loki's door. First he was relieved and then he started to wonder. Was he perhaps disappointed with the other night? Was Loki just a challenge he had no interest in once he has fallen under his charm? Was this his plan all along, to fuck him and discard him like an old rag? Sure, Loki has told him not to come searching for him ever again, but he never counted on Thor actually listening to him. He grew nervous in anticipation, causing him to lose focus in his everyday life.

Finally, he mustered up the courage and went looking for the knight himself, under the pretence of being worried for his patient and wanting to check on his injury.

"Theodore?" One of the crusaders asked about his colleague looked back at Loki in astonishment. "Poor guy…" He continued. "Apparently he was rejected by some girl and decided to join the scouting legion few days back. I told him his wound wouldn't be completely healed, but he wouldn't listen. He said he had no reason to live anyway and went with them. Last word we got is that they all died in the attempt to deal with the enemy." The knight shook his head.

"Are you sure?!" Loki took the man by his arms and shook him.

"Sir, I wish I was wrong about this. He was my friend as well."

Loki pushed the man away and hissed through his teeth. "He wasn't my friend!"

He ran to his house, where he smashed everything that came to his hands. Cups and plates, chairs, tables, books… everything flew around his house and once he has run out of objects he ripped his pillows and blankets as he threw himself over the bed, enraged.

Dead?! Dead? How can he be so selfish and die? – Loki screamed on the inside.

Once he finally ran out of energy and was left in his ruined bed, panting, he started recalling the events of that night in his mind, how they indulged in each other's bodies, how deep he has felt Thor inside of him as they shared the passion… He cursed himself for uttering such cruel words that night, throwing him out on the street in cold blood.

He noticed the sudden weakness that overcame him and as he looked around there was blood everywhere around him, the ripped and tangled sheets red from it. Where did this blood come from? Perhaps from these cuts on his hands, but when did he get those? Has he hurt himself while having that angry fir a moment ago?

He slumped back into the bed, feeling his body slowly going to sleep and his spirit trying to leave it and in those last moments of his life, Loki has wondered.

"Where is Thor?"


	3. Thomas and Lodovico

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here you go, another chapter, approximately 250 years after the events in the previous one. This time, location is Florence, Italy. Thanks to everyone who's find some time to read it.

"I just wish I wasn't this bored all the time." Loki puffed as he walked through the town, accompanied by his elderly friend Andrea, a famous Florentine artist, responsible for decorating the town with his carvings and sculptures. It was a warm afternoon, made for pointless walks and chit-chats among old friends.

"I guess this is what it feels like once you've accomplished everything in life, huh, Lodovico?" Andrea wondered out loud, causing Loki only to sigh even more loudly.

To accomplish everything in life?

Maybe in the eyes of the others, since he was a wealthy man who has travelled through Europe, trading goods with other cities and countries, learning languages and being introduced to other cultures which resulted in him earning enough money to establish himself as a respectable banker. He lived in a luxurious villa with a garden, which was a rare commodity in the city centre and was married to one of the most beautiful women in all the Florence, Veronica, who was a daughter of a man even wealthier than 'Lodovico' and whose money she inherited.

So, of course everyone thought Loki was happy, why wouldn't he be? Accomplishing all of those things before the age of 35 was quite something. Yet, he felt as if something was missing, he just wasn't sure what. It was a faint feeling, a whisper, a notion… telling him he was still not complete as a person.

"I feel like I need a challenge in my life…" He complained to his friend.

"Well, I think I just might have something that could take your mind of the everyday boredom." Andrea suggested, causing Loki to stop and cast him an interested look.

"Speak of it, my friend, for I am dying to hear it."

Andrea explained how his business of building a church has come to a stall, unable to think of new ideas, without simply copying the already existing ones. He was in a dire need for some new and fresh creative force so he has taken in an apprentice from a faraway land, hoping he'll bring in a dash of fresh air.

The only problem was, the new apprentice spoke only his language, English, and the communication between the two was almost impossible. Knowing how Loki has done some trading with the English wool merchants, he suggested him acting as a tutor to his student.

Loki rolled his eyes, the suggested challenge not being what he had expected.

"I'm not a teacher, I'm a banker, a business man." He sighed.

"You just said you were bored out of your mind, and besides, you owe an old friend a favour." Andrea nudged him and winked.

"A favour?! Don't be ridiculous, old man." Loki laughed.

"Hey, who was the one speaking or should I say lying about your remarkable qualities to Veronica's father? Men more powerful and wealthier than you were fighting for her hand, yet I convinced her father you were the right choice for his precious daughter."

"Ha, and you think a word of an old artist vagabond was what sealed the deal?! Come on, that one is solely thanks to my irresistible charm and quick wit. And ethereal beauty, may I add." Loki laughed, only half joking. "Besides, a woman barely leaves her room, she spends half the day sleeping, the other half trying out dresses. Sometimes I wonder why I married her…"

"Oh, Lodovico, you know why you married her. You wouldn't be who you are today without her father's riches." Andrea reminded him. "So, what do you say? Want to cure your boredom by helping an old friend out?"

"Fine, whatever!" Loki finally agreed. "Where is that boy of yours?"

Andrea took him back to his atelier, filled with huge chunks of rock, and somewhere among them, there was a man carving something out. He was shirtless, his muscles flexing with every hit of the hammer, sweat dripping of his body. His long blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun and judging by the way he was breathing loudly, it was time for a break.

"That… is your apprentice boy?" Loki asked in awe. "He looks like one of the statues here! Are you sure he is seventeen?"

"That's what he told me." Andrea shrugged.

"How can you be sure if you don't understand the word he says?"

"He showed me using his fingers."

"Hm… what makes you think he knows how to count? He looks rather wild and unpolished." Loki said mockingly.

"He may look it, but I see a great potential with the boy. He's quite skilful with a hammer. Wait, let me introduce you to him. Thomas!" Andrea yelled, waving to boy to come over.

"Master!" Thor answered upon hearing his name 'Thomas' being called out and came over to his teacher and Loki, while pronouncing the only Italian word he knew.

"Thomas… this… is… Lodovico, my friend. He will…teach… you." Andrea started speaking Italian slowly, using his hands to motion first to Loki, then to his student, but was interrupted by Loki.

"You speaking it slowly won't make him understand." Loki smiled and reached his hand out to Thor.

"Nice to meet you, young man. My name is Lodovico."

"T-t-thomas, sir." Thor introduced himself shyly, grabbing onto Loki's hand, shaking it violently.

"You have quite a grip there, Thomas." Loki felt as if the bones in his hand were crushed by the handshake.

"S-s-sorry, sir. I'm just… umm… it's so n-n-nice to meet you." Thor said nervously clenching his hands.

"Andrea didn't mention you were a stutterer."

"I.. I'm not sir. You're the first person… to speak to me in a language I can understand." Thor said enthusiastically. "I was afraid I'm starting to forget how to speak."

"Well, that's why I'm here… I guess. To teach you how to speak Italian. Although, with this old weirdo, I doubt you missed out on much. Sometimes, it's better not to understand him." Loki motioned to Andrea, causing Thor to laugh out loud, showing his perfectly aligned white teeth.

"Hey, what are you two snickering about?" Andrea may not have understood what they've said, but he sure knew they were talking about him.

They agreed Thor would come to Loki's house every day where he would learn not only the language, but also how to read and write, since Loki found his inability to do either scandalous.

When the weather was nice and sunny, they would sit in the garden, Thor giving his best and failing, but instead making Loki laugh with his miserable attempts to produce a meaningful sentence.

"Why are you laughing at me? I know I'm pitiful, but you don't have to mock me." Thor said, his big blue eyes sincerely asking for an explanation.

"I'm not laughing at you. I just admire your persistence. If I were you, I would have given up already."

"Well, that's sure encouraging." Thor sighed and shut the book that was in his lap.

"Hey, don't be like this. I just applauded your will and you're giving up already." Loki tapped his back, causing Thor to flinch. Feeling this man's touch on his back was somehow too familiar.

"Just sitting with you here is enough. I don't need to learn all the time."

"Isn't learning the whole purpose of your coming to my house?! What do you suggest we do if not teach you how to speak, read, write… act more like a human being and less like a wild animal?" Loki was annoyed by the young man's reluctance to learn.

"You could pose for me. I'd like to make a statue of you." Thor answered bluntly, disregarding the offensive remark of his resemblance to some wild animal with no manners.

"Don't be daft, why would you want that?"

"Because since I saw you for the first time, wandering through the market, I wanted to carve you out in stone and preserve your beauty forever." Thor lifted his hand up, making a move towards Loki's face, caressing it gently with the tips of his fingers.

"The first time you saw me was at Andrea's workshop, not the market." Loki corrected him, staying still as the large hand gently touched his cheek.

"No. That was when we met. But I noticed you earlier. On my second day here, as I was wandering the unfamiliar streets of Florence, I thought I was lost and started to panic. People were rushing past me, speaking a foreign language; I was circling the market, not knowing which exit to take. And then I saw you, and all of the sudden, nothing else mattered. I knew it then, I wasn't lost… And that day, when Master Andrea brought you to the workshop, I couldn't believe my luck. All my prayers have been answered."

"You're being weird, Thomas!" Loki gasped and pushed his hand away from his face. He was a bit crept out by this sudden confession.

"But I speak the truth. Being here with you is…"

"Thomas! You are to stop this folly this instance." Loki said sternly and leaned away from the blond man. "You don't want people to hear you spout such things."

"Not people. Just you. Only you." Thor said sadly and gave Loki a tortured look.

He reached over to his hands and enveloped them with his large, rugged palms. Loki looked down nervously but didn't shake his hands off.

"What do you want from me, Thomas?"

"I want nothing of you, but what you are willing to give yourself. All I ask from you is to model for me, so I could build the most perfect statue ever known to men."

Loki sighed, sensing his defeat. Before he could say anything, he jumped up nervously, hearing his wife's voice calling him from the house.

"You better leave now, Thomas. Our lesson is finished."

"But… I…"

"Just do as I say and leave." Loki hissed nervously.

Thor stood up, his posture slouched, the look in his eyes defeated. He looked as if all his hope was lost. But he couldn't but to ask just one last time.

"Just come to Master's workshop… You'll see I mean you no harm."

"We'll see about that, now shoo!" Loki pushed him towards the gate.

Once Veronica joined him in the garden, the young man has already been gone.

"Where is your student?" She wondered.

"You know how artists are, all capricious and unpredictable. He left unexpectedly." Loki lied with ease.

"He's a strange boy, isn't he? I wonder how you put up with him." She laughed.

"Yeah, me too." He agreed.

 

 

"I thought the statues in church should be clothed." Loki said angrily as Thor ordered him to take his shirt off.

"Not this one." Thor shook his head and smirked mysteriously.

"It makes no sense." He argued, unwilling to take it off.

"I can take mine off as well if that will make you feel better." Thor suggested.

"No, thank you!" He refused, knowing it would only make him more conscious of his own body and his eyes might find it a distraction. He remembered how Thor looked without his shirt and it was quite a sight, more similar to a Greek god than a medieval builder's apprentice.

"Come on, be good." Thor approached Loki and offered to help him take his clothes off.

"Fine! But let me do it myself!" Loki finally gave in to the pressure.

"You see… you're perfect." Thor smiled gently, watching his pale skin. He wasn't as bulky as himself, but for a man who didn't do any physical work, he wasn't exactly in a bad shape, yet for Thor he was the best looking man he has ever seen.

"Don't say that." Loki's cheeks visibly blushed. "Just tell me, which biblical figure should I represent? You know… so I can get into character."

"Don't worry, you're perfectly in character."

"Besides, why do you need such a big chunk of rock, I thought you were making me in scale."

"It's for the wings." Thor said with a deadpan expression, as if having wings was a given.

"Wings? Are you making an angel?" Loki laughed at the idea.

"Ummm… not quite." Thor snickered.

"A demon? Because if you think I resemble a demon, I'm just going to stop bothering with you and walk out of your workshop this instance."

"Not just a mere demon, Lodovico. I'm making you into the king of the underworld, before he has fallen."

"Are you crazy?! Lucifer?! Is that what you think of me?!" Loki was offended and stood up from the podium where he was seated.

"Don't be offended by it." Thor sighed and came so close to Loki that he was able to look straight into his eyes and feel his breath on his face. "It was a compliment."

"Well, fuck your rude compliments." Loki grunted and looked away.

"You seduced me into wanting to give my soul away to you." Thor uttered a sentence that made Loki look back at him.

"Don't be spouting nonsense." He almost laughed out loud but soon regained his seriousness.

"It is not nonsense. It is the truth."

Loki couldn't believe what he was hearing, how this young man was completely obsessed with him. He wondered if it might have been just an act to get him to pose so he decided to test his limits.

"How far?"

"How far what?" Thor was confused for a moment.

"How far are you willing to go in this game of yours?"

"You think this is a game for me?" Thor frowned.

"Isn't it?"

"Of course not! I want you!" Thor blurted it out suddenly, his face blushing from the sudden wave of honesty.

"You mean, you want me to pose for you?"

"Not just that…"

"Oh…" Loki was not easily confused, yet this made him speechless.

"Since setting my eyes on you, I have wanted you! I'd do anything to convince you that what I say is true."

Loki didn't take much to recover and offer Thor a challenge.

"Fine then. If I tell you to spread your legs for me and moan under my body as I take you, will you do it?" He smiled wickedly, expecting a rejection.

"I told you already, I'd do anything." Thor was not bluffing as he started ripping his clothes off his body until he was stark naked.

"Thomas…" Loki gasped.

"Here I am, just as you ordered." Thor sat on the floor, spreading his legs apart, offering Loki a full view.

"Thomas, I…"

"It's your move, Lodovico." Thor said as he pushed his legs even further apart.

Tempted by the sight before his eyes, Loki forgot all about his previous hesitation. He fumbled with his breeches and as soon as they were off, he kneeled between Thor's knees.

"I hope you know what you're doing, boy." Loki grunted, pushing his body further down into Thor.

"Don't worry, old man." Thor teased as he pushed his own fingers in, trying to prepare himself. The expression on his face after being stretched out by two digits was quite a painful one.

"You know, once I get this thing in you, that's it, there's no way back." Loki warned him while stroking himself.

"Oh, I'm counting on it." Thor smiled despite the pain he was feeling. He knew it was probably going to get worse, judging by Loki's member, that was getting bigger each passing second, but he wasn't afraid.

The floor was cold and uncomfortable place for such an act, but little did they mind the bruises they might gain. Two panting bodies, grinding into each other, the friction and the tightness, occasional grunt and moan, fingers clutching into flesh… left them lying dishevelled on the floor, sore and sticky, covered in scratches and fluids… it was over sooner than they hoped for, but for that brief moment, it made them belong to each other, a feeling so good they wondered how they managed to ever be apart.

"So? Am I better than your wife?" Thor asked as his nuzzled his face into Loki's chest.

"Don't speak of her now, you're ruining everything." Loki growled as he remembered having a wife back at home. A wife he barely saw lately, a wife who slept in a different wing of the house, but still a wife in the eyes of the law.

 

 

His work has seen a little progress, for instead of carving out the stone, Thor would indulge himself in different activities every time Loki would visit him under the pretence of serving as a model.

Most of the times, their bodies were entangled and connected, their minds completely ridden of any thoughts but of each other. Once when the time came to present his recent works to his master, Thor had almost nothing.

"That boy has made almost no progress lately." Andrea complained to Loki. "Is he as lazy with you at your lessons?"

"Oh no… he's very… Active." Loki snickered.

"I don't know why he listens to you as much as he does, when I'm the one he should be obeying." Andrea shook his head.

"I'll talk to him for you. Don't worry." Loki consoled his friend.

"Yes, Lodovico, and go hard on him! You know how this project means to me!" Andrea said enthusiastically.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll go hard on him, I promise you that." Loki answered with a self-satisfying smirk, thinking of the ways that promise could be kept. "I'll make him work all night, if necessary." He added, wondering if he perhaps may have crossed the line, but Andrea saw no double meaning in it.

 

The big chunk of stone that was supposed to become Lucifer, was left undone, neglected, while Thor gave all his attention to the man next to him, gently undressing him, exploring his body and bringing them both ecstasy, once, twice or three times in a night, leaving no place in their minds for anything else.

One evening, as they were enjoying their post-coital bliss, Loki decided to start a conversation about a touchy subject, one that made Thor wince in his arms and lift his head up, leaving the comfortable position of nuzzling into Loki's chest.

"Andrea said you've been missing work lately…"

"Mhmmm..."

"Remember why you came here?" Loki stroked his hair gently, trying to talk reason into him.

"To meet you and give you all my love?" Thor smirked knowing it was not the answer Loki was looking for, yet he couldn't help himself.

"No, that's just a consequence of it. You're here to learn how to become better at your craft."

"I don't need to get better at it, I need to become better in my art of devouring you." He smiled and started licking Loki's exposed nipple, knowing that will get him in the mood and hopefully change the subject.

"Ah! Thomas…" Loki found it difficult to keep his composure and continue with this serious conversation, but he knew it had to be done. He pulled on Thor's hair, removing his tongue from his chest, stripping himself from this pleasurable feeling. "I'm being serious!"

Thor frowned as he reluctantly sat up in the bed. Being rejected like this was no fun at all. He looked at Loki, pouting.

"You don't love me as much as I do you."

"Thomas…" Loki sighed, crawling after Thor, putting his arms around him tentatively. "Don't say that…" He placed a gentle kiss on his neck. "I only want the best for you; I want you to excel at your work, to become the best man you can be."

"I'm the best when I'm with you." Thor said grumpily, yet he did not reject Loki's touches and kisses.

"Then prove it to me. Work as hard as you can and as a reward… I'll work you as hard as I can." He smirked, his hand reaching slowly but determinately to Thor's groin.

"Will you divorce her?"

Loki was surprised by this question coming seemingly out of nowhere. Never once during their time together has the subject of Veronica been discussed, existing only in theory but never getting in the way of their passion.

"I… why do you ask this all of the sudden?" Loki's hand stopped, his body moving away from Thor's.

"Isn't it logical? For me to expect you'll leave your wife and be with me?" Thor was surprised he even had to explain this.

"I can't just leave her! Everything I own is thanks to her… My house, reputation, wealth, my position in this society… I can't tell her to leave her house because I'll move my mistress in, a male one to make things even better." His voice got higher and his movements more erratic.

Thor felt his chest clench up upon being called a mistress, yet he did not argue with that, trying to avoid a bigger conflict. "You could come live with me?" He hesitantly suggested.

"Oh, yes, I can come and live in this hole of an improvised workshop loft you call home?" Loki snarled, finding the suggestion simply ridiculous.

"So, this place is fine as long as you get to leave after you fuck me? You go home to your wife and lead you perfect life, while I rot away in this hole, as you call it, thinking about you, counting hours until our next meeting…"

Loki has never heard Thor speak in this manner before, with his feelings put out on display so blatantly.

"I remember when we started this… I remember you saying you would ask only as much as I can give you, Thomas…"

"I guess I lied!" Thor shouted. "I wanted your everything from the start! Even before I've met you, I have wanted you!" He looked deeply into Loki's eyes, searching for a confirmation the other man felt the same, but the green eyes managed to look away before they were exposed.

"Thomas, I..." Loki shook his head and opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a sudden cough that made it impossible to talk.

"Lodovico? Are you alright?" Thor worried. "Want some water?"

Loki waved out a 'no' as he barely managed to catch a breath and stop the coughing.

"Hey…" Thor leaned over him, trying to check if he was alright.

"I'm fine… It's just… I guess this is too much for me." Loki stood up, searching for his clothes.

"So… what does this mean? Are you leaving me?" Thor looked up, his eyes watery.

"I'm leaving… And you… You start working on that statue or else…" Loki ruffled his fingers through Thor's hair and crouched next to Thor, now looking up at him. "We'll talk about this. About us, our future, my… wife." He barely said that word. "But you have to take your job seriously."

"Lodovico…" Thor lowered his head, puckering up his lips, waiting for a kiss.

Loki placed a loud peck on Thor's mouth. "See you in a week."

Thor didn't get to enjoy the feeling as much as he would otherwise, for hearing their next meeting would be in one week disturbed him greatly.

"Why so long? I can't wait that much." He protested and grabbed onto Loki's hand, stopping him from leaving.

"Start working, get your shit together and then… we'll continue this."

"Ugh… I can't wait so long." Thor shook his head. "At least give me something to survive on."

Loki sighed, knowing too well his will has been too easily broken.

"Fine, but we have to make it quick." He murmured and before he knew it, he was already pulled on the bed, caught in a headlock.

"I'll fill you up with a week's worth of love." Thor laughed, forgetting about the spout they had only a few moments earlier.

 

 

A week lasted longer than Thor had expected. Each day dragged out endlessly, as he was cooped up in his workshop, carving up a perfect image of his lover, using only the images in his memory to go by. The project progressed perfectly and after one week was up, he expected a visitor to check on him, to see how he's doing, what a good boy he has been, obeying the orders. He glanced at the entrance, expecting Loki any moment, only to be disappointed upon seeing his master, Andrea enter the workshop.

"Wow, Thomas, I see this is going quite well. I almost regret badmouthing you the other day."

"Master! Have you seen Lodovico?" He asked about his lover immediately, ignoring his master's praise.

"Lodovico? No… But I saw Veronica in church today, she says Lodovico was feeling unwell this whole day, so he's probably in bed. Why?"

But instead explaining why he was in such a dire need to find out more about Loki's whereabouts, Thor rushed to the villa where his lover and his wife had resided.

His palms were sweaty and breathing was difficult, especially after remembering all these cases of people feeling sick lately. They would be fine one day and collapse the next, stricken with fever and sweating in agony. He recalled his next door neighbour dying from it two days ago, a mysterious disease everyone tried to downplay as flu. But there was something weird about it.

Thor was never a religious man in his life as Thomas, yet as he ran through the streets of Florence, he started praying for Loki's health. He promised he would do anything, just to see him healed.

He ran pass people looking pale in their faces, some of them coughing or puking right there on the pavement, so he covered his mouth with his sleeve as he tried to make his way through the busy streets.

Once he has reached the gate of the villa, he found it locked, but it didn't stop him from shouting, alarming the help he was there and demanding to be let inside.

"Our master is sick, he cannot see you." The elderly servant explained.

"But I need to see him." Thor clung desperately to the gate.

"It is not wise. It might be contagious. They say a disease has been brought from distant lands, by merchant ships. These last few days it seems it has turned into an epidemic."

Thor shook his head in denial. No, it couldn't be the deadly disease that spared no one. It was probably just fatigue. After all, Loki has complained a lot about being tired lately which wasn't much of a surprise, considering his blooming business endeavours during the day and passionate nightly activities with Thor during the night. And yes, the last time he saw him, he had almost choked while coughing, but that didn't automatically mean he was stricken by this horrible, fatal disease…

"I need to see him!" It was no longer a request, but a demand.

The servant reluctantly unlocked the gate, letting him in. But the way to Loki's room was riddled with more obstacles, this time, up on the stairs, he ran into Veronica.

"You dare showing your mug in my house?! Bastard!" She practically screamed.

Thor stood there for a moment, confused and then she continued.

"Prancing into MY house, after everything you have done?! You have no shame. I tolerated this for quite some time now, his constant visits and the way he spoke of you… How his eyes would sparkle upon mentioning your name. But you, here… I cannot stand it. It is your fault; it is all your fault!" She yelled angrily, pushing him away, hitting his chest with her fists.

Thor never realised she was familiar with her husband's extramarital relationship, but now it all made sense. Of course she must have found it suspicious. After all, Loki was absent from home every night, returning at early dawn. He endured the blows coming from her, they were probably well deserved.

"Now neither of us will have him!" Was the thing that made Thor's blood go cold and he grabbed her violently by the wrists, demanding an explanation.

"What kind of a cruel joke are you playing on me?"

"Go and see for yourself…" She said tearfully, moving out of his way, letting him through to the door.

Thor stormed into the room, surprising an unsuspecting doctor who was standing above a body covered with a blanket.

"No!" Thor yelled upon seeing that scene and rushed to the bedside, uncovering the blanket.

"Don't do that, it is highly contagious." The doctor warned him, but with little effect.

Thor was kneeling on the floor, hugging Loki's still warm body.

"Please, wake up!" He begged him, but Loki's face was expressionless, pale and calm as if he was sleeping tightly. "Wake up, Lodovico!"

"He died quarter an hour ago." The doctor announced, but Thor didn't care. A minute or an hour, it was all the same, for his 'Lodovico' was no longer with him.

Veronica was standing in the doorway, in tears, wondering if perhaps she was a bit extreme in her cruelty with this young man who obviously cared for her late husband.

"Did Lodovico ever mention to you… having a brother?" She asked. Causing Thor to turn around, his eyes overflown by tears and his hands still on Loki's body.

"No… He said he was an only child. Why?"

"In his last moments, while he barely spoke from all the blood coming out his lungs, he mentioned how he must speak to him. He said he wanted to see his brother. Guess illness made him mad in the end."

"Oh, Lodovico…" Thor sighed, caressing his face, regretting his absence from the last moment of his lover's life. He knew it was probably very inappropriate to sit here, in this woman's home, but he didn't give it much thought, for he needed this time to say a proper farewell, leaving only after the doctor started pulling onto his hand, warning him about the danger of lingering at his bedpost.

He didn't even know how he found his way back home, or how he had the strength to start working again on the statue, nor where he found the will to finish it… But it was worth it. Soon, he got to see Loki again, standing before him just as if he were real. His face smirking permanently, his eyes glistering seductively, his wings spreading across the room.

Andrea walked into the workshop, catching Thor as he was gently caressing his work's stony face.

"So, it's finished?" He was amazed to see the statue in all its glory. "Wow! Don't you think he looks like… like our friend, rest his soul?"

Thor shook his head. "No, Master. It's just a copy, nowhere near the perfection that he was."


	4. Thiago and Lorenzo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time: mid 16th century  
> Location: Central America  
> Thor is... Thiago, a Portugese soldier serving the Spanish crown  
> Loki is... Lorenzo, a native translator for the conquistadors

"You have to be more careful, Thiago, or you'll be caught lurking here by the governor. You know how protective he is about his treasure." Juan mocked his comrade who was hidden in the bushes behind the governor's tent, trying to catch the glimpse of his commander's most prized possession.

"Shut up, Juan! I wasn't lurking, I was just taking a dump." Thor made up the best excuse he could come up with at the time and the only one justifying the fact that his pants were down.

"Oh, I presume shitting is much more fun done here than behind your own tent?" Juan laughed.

"Yes, now, will you excuse me, I'm not done yet." Thor seeped through his teeth, trying to get rid of the unwanted company.

"I can see that." Juan snickered, his eyes catching a glimpse of Thor's rock hard cock, only half hidden by his hands. "But tell me, do you see anything from here?" He lowered himself, trying to be on the same eye level as Thor.

"Just leave!" Thor roared, causing Juan to flinch and stand up straight.

"Fine! Just pray to God you don't get caught by governor, or worse… Don Lorenzo himself." Juan whispered.

That name, Lorenzo, made Thor feel weak in his knees, made his heart beat faster, forced his hands to start working on his member again, disregarding Juan's presence.

"You, my friend, are one sick son of a bitch." Juan made a disgusted face and shook his head and decided to leave Thor to continue his business more privately. He thought this long journey across the unknown lands made his friend lose his mind and the lack of women around forced him to search for the next best thing – Don Lorenzo.

Because from the day he first arrived at the camp of Spanish settlers in the new world, Don Lorenzo has been a feared and mysterious figure, one that disregarded the presence of everyone else, but their governor Enrique, serving him as a translator, helping him conquer these lands and deal with the indigenous tribes. The rumours said he started out as one of them, orphaned at an early age, sold to Spanish conquistadors as a slave and adopted Christian religion, changing his name to "Lorenzo" and from then on serving the Spaniards, helping them gain territory and gold.

Little respect did he get for this, both among his people and the settlers, for one who could betray his own folk so easily was not to be trusted. Yet, since their governor accepted and relied upon him, nobody dared to say a word against him.

Thor didn't care much about these stories, so what if he was a traitor of his people, if he sold them out for comfort, if he aligned with a ruthless man that their governor was… because he felt this invisible force drawing him to this man, his eyes always following him, always wanting to be near. The tragedy of the situation was that the man he admired wasn't even aware of Thor's existence, for he was much concerned with those in command, not caring about simple soldiers, replaceable nobodies like Thor, at least not until one day, they accidently met at the waterfall. Loki and Thor, reunited once again, as Lorenzo and Thiago, unaware of their true identities.

Truth be said, the whole incident was less of an accident on Thor's side, as he followed Loki that day, hoping to catch a glimpse of his naked body and was instead caught by his own prey, having to make up a story, explaining how he also chose the same waterfall as his bathing spot.

Loki was quite impressed, believing he was the only one who knew about the place and he admired Thor's adventurous nature, thinking he found the place when he explored the nature around the camp. One thing led to another, and soon they found themselves in this silent agreement of always coming to this spot at the same time, where they would indulge in activities far more exciting than just bathing.

Before he knew it, Thor has become the cleanest person in the camp, taking daily showers and enjoying them greatly. Soon, their daily meetings weren't enough for him, wanting to spend more time around Loki, getting nervous if he didn't get to see him.

As he tried to catch a glimpse of Loki's body through the tent, he didn't even notice a shadow of the person inside of it, approaching him. A hand slipped out of the tent, pulling him inside, causing him to fall on the ground, his pants around his ankles and his naked butt up in the air.

"Just what do you think you are doing, moron?!"

As if falling over wasn't a punishment enough, he got an additional one in the form of being hit over the head with a sheeted dagger.

"Ouch!" He yelped, trying to protect his head with his hands.

"Can't you wait half a day?"

"Lorenzo…" He whimpered, recognizing this stern voice immediately.

As Thor looked up, all he could see through his hair was a pair of hands, holding a golden dagger.

"Don't stalk me like that, you know you'll get to see me tomorrow morning, why are you so anxious?" Loki crouched next to him.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, just being near you was enough to satisfy myself, even if we were parted by a tarp." Thor said sincerely, causing Loki to sigh.

"What will I do with you, Thiago?" He reached out a hand to remove Thor's hair out of his face, uncovering apologetic blue eyes that were staring at him intensively. As much as he tried to convince himself this mere soldier meant nothing to him, in moments like this he became aware of how much he actually cared about the poor guy.

"Kiss me?" Thor suggested, immediately dispelling Loki's short moment of amazement, causing him to push him away and stand up angrily, leaving Thor on the ground.

"You're lucky Enrique didn't catch you here." He sneered.

"Oh yeah, where is he?" Thor was surprised by the governor's absence from his own tent.

"I don't know… He's preparing the strategy for attacking the Aztecs?" Loki shrugged.

Thor grunted as he slowly picked himself up from the floor and finally managed to pull up his pants. He tried not to voice his concerns about the governor's plans, or question Loki's involvement in them, for he had it enough of being shushed by Loki. This one time, as he questioned the necessity of Loki sharing the tent with the governor, he was punished by not being allowed to visit the waterfall for three days. He didn't really want to risk that again, but holding it in was even more difficult.

"And you're fine with that?" He asked Loki.

"Fine with what?"

"This attack on your countrymen? We have more gold than we can carry home on our ships, what's the point of this?"

"First of all… the Aztecs are not my countrymen, for my tribe has been under their oppression for ages, even before you people showed up. Second – it's not about the gold anymore for Enrique."

Thor rolled his eyes. Even though he was under Enrique's direct command, serving him became more and more difficult as time passed by. The governor became conceited, disregarding the orders of Spanish king, working on his own, wanting to rule from the Caribbean Sea to the Pacific Ocean, conquering everything.

"It's about power, dominance, respect…" Loki explained.

"He thinks he's a god." Thor snorted.

"Maybe these people need a figure like that in their lives. A real god, made of flesh and blood, one that will keep them safe, instead of some unseen spirits that demand human sacrifices."

"These people? Weren't you once one of them?" Thor didn't like the words coming out of Loki's mouth.

"Maybe I was once… Until I've seen the light."

"By light… you mean Enrique?" Thor snorted as he was suddenly starting to get consumed by jealousy.

Loki sighed, not answering this question directly. "Why do you hate him so much? Didn't you come here willingly, under his guidance?"

"That was before I knew what he's capable of! He's killing left and right just to get what he wants!"

"All gods demand some sort of a sacrifice." Loki concluded.

"He is not a god!" Thor suddenly grabbed him by his arms, trying to talk sense into this man. He was angry at how blindly one man could follow orders from another, he wanted to shake him until he finally saw how wrong all of Enrique's actions were. "He is dangerous and unpredictable. You are not safe by his side!"

"And you're jealous!" Loki freed himself from Thor's grasp in one swift movement, pushing the blond man away.

"I might be! But at least I'm not blind, like you!" Thor grunted out.

Loki took a quick step forward and placed a loud slap across Thor's face.

"I thought you came here for a fuck, not a fight, but I can give you one if you're so eager." Loki spouted.

Thor massaged his cheek where it got struck, trying not to think about how good Loki looked even in this furious state, with his pupils dilated, his nostrils flaring and his cheeks reddened. He tried to keep that little restraint he had left not to pounce on him this instant for even though he disagreed with his views on the matter, this still didn't diminish his carnal desire.

"I didn't actually come for either of those things, I just planned to admire you from a safe distance." He grumbled.

"Sure… you were panting loudly like a dog, only few feet away from me, you thought I wouldn't notice you?" Loki grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him closer. "Now come and be done with this, before our boss returns and beats the shit out of both of us." He went in for a kiss but was pushed away by Thor.

It took a lot of self-restrain in that moment, to push away the man who was on his mind the whole day, man he wanted nothing more but to take in his arms and ravage him. But this little conversation they had, made him so angry that he decided to disregard his own desires, out of principle.

"I'm not in the mood." He murmured, trying not to look him in the eyes.

"You're always in the mood." Loki snarled.

"Well, now I'm not!" He spat out, and passed Loki, opening the tent so he could leave.

"Fine! Enjoy your hand!" Loki shouted behind him sarcastically.

"Yeah… Enjoy Enrique." Thor murmured to himself once he was on the outside.

….

Five days – that was how long Loki was the only one taking the long cold baths at the waterfalls. He came there every day, at the same time as always, just to find he was the only one there. He even stayed longer than usual and still managed to stay the only one. He didn't know why he was getting so upset – was it because he didn't like being rejected like this or because he was actually disappointed by Thor's absence. Or both…

"Thiago?" Juan cautiously approached his friend as he finally found him eating dinner. "Tell me you're not in some kind of a trouble?"

"What?" Thor was surprised by this sudden accusation as he stuffed his mouth full of corn.

"The governor has just summoned you to his tent." Juan said, worried. Governor Enrique didn't really call someone over until they screwed up big time.

Thor's mind started running wild, thinking about what all this fuss was about, was he perhaps outed as an opponent of governor's actions? And was that done by Loki, since he was the only one who knew about this? He cursed his words form the other day, when he revealed his true feelings about this in front of Loki.

He dragged his feet to the place where he was summoned to, reluctantly, trying to postpone it as long as he could. When he shyly entered governor's tent, he was slightly confused.

"You're not the governor." He said upon seeing Loki standing alone in the dim candlelit space.

"How incredibly perceptive of you, Thiago." Loki gasped.

"I was told…" Thor started but was interrupted by Loki closing up on him and smelling him. Upon a closer inspection, Thor noticed the other was wearing only a nightgown, and couldn't help but to wonder if he wore anything under it.

"You smell like someone who didn't take a wash in a week."

"Um… actually, it was five days." He tried to get the images of naked Loki out of his head.

"So, you counted it?" Loki said with a satisfactory smile on his face that he just couldn't contain. "I was waiting for you, you know?" He continued.

"I didn't know. I thought governor would take care of your… needs." Thor said bluntly.

"How many times do I have to tell you – it's not like that!" Loki grunted.

"Sure. That's why you sleep right next to him." Thor looked around the tent, spotting two improvised beds, placed closer than he liked them to be."

"He's paranoid and hates sleeping alone, afraid someone would cut his throat in the middle of the night." Loki explained.

"By the way… where is he?"

"He's not here, we're alone." Loki smirked seductively, slithering next to Thor and putting his arms around him. "I could get used to this foul smell, I guess."

"You're making it difficult for me to resist you." Thor grunted, knowing he could no longer deny Loki's pursuit. Last time was hard enough and five days later it was impossible.

"Then don't…" Loki whispered as he started licking Thor's ear, tracing a wet trail all the way to his collar bone.

"Ah… Lorenzo…" Thor surrendered, his hands finally gripping Loki's firm ass, lifting him up from the ground, into his arms, while he nuzzled his face into Loki's chest.

"Good boy!" Loki purred. "Now walk us over to my bed."

"Which one is yours?" Thor looked up at him in confusion.

"Just… whatever." Loki couldn't wait a minute longer.

Once Thor slumped them on the bed, Loki ended up sitting in his lap, a perfect position to be in charge of this. He pushed Thor down and violently ripped his shirt open. His fingers trailed over the tense muscles of his abdomen and ended up working on unbuckling his belt.

Thor arched his hips up, desperate for those fingers to touch the thing that was concealed under the fabric.

"Patience, Thiago!" Loki had to laugh at his desperate expression.

"Ah! Please! I can't wait a minute longer…" Thor yelped.

Loki crooked his head and smiled wickedly as he ground his hips into the body beneath him. "Shouldn't have ignored me for five days."

"I'm sorry! I'm so… sorry!" Thor panted, his hands pulling Loki down, nails digging into his sides, lifting up the nightgown he was wearing.

"You better be…" Loki threatened, as he finally managed to get Thor's member out in the open.

Thor's fingers automatically went under Loki's nightdress, trying to figure out what was underneath the fabric. The delight on his face was obvious once he felt nothing but naked skin under the tips of his fingers. He kneaded his butt cheeks eagerly, and as he started to part them, in search for an entrance, he was interrupted by Loki's whisper.

"I already prepared myself for you." He snickered seeing how Thor started breathing irregularly.

"Don't tease me like that… just let me inside." He was starting to lose his patience, five days of not getting it taking their toll.

Loki finally took it into his hands, as he positioned himself right over Thor's shaft. He lowered himself onto it slowly, guiding the head in through the twitching ring of muscles. Thor had it enough of this slow teasing and he lifted his hips up violently, causing Loki to be impaled on his cock immediately.

"Ugh, damn…" Loki gasped as he was stretched out in one go, the preparation he has made earlier being of little help when dealing with such a large thing.

Thor sat up, putting his arms around Loki, trying to console him and offer him a better angle. He slobbered all over Loki's neck, trying to kiss him properly but the sensation of being engulfed by Loki's heat made most of his actions incoherent, only his hips arching up in a perfect rhythm.

"I need you…" Thor panted into Loki's neck as he thrust into him relentlessly.

Loki's fingers were tangled up into Thor's messy hair, he was pulling on it while screaming out his name. "Thiago!"

"Nnnhhh… I love you, Lorenzo…" Thor wasn't even aware of what came out of his mouth in the heat of the passion.

"Don't… Don't say that." Loki shook his head and pulled on his hair even harder. "Don't say that…" He begged.

"I love you so much…" Thor continued, disregarding Loki's pleas. "We should be doing this all the time. I want us to do this all the time." He looked straight into Loki's eyes just as he was ready to release into him.

"I'm so sorry…" Loki shook his head. "I'm sorry." Loki barely managed to say, not only because his eyes watered up, but mostly because he felt Thor's heat filling him up completely.

As he felt Thor's member twitching and releasing inside of him, all he wanted was for this moment to last for a while longer, even though he knew it too well that he himself has made this impossible.

"I hope you can forgive me." He rested his head on Thor's shoulder and before Thor could ask what this was all about, a sharp voice came from behind them.

"Ay dios mio… on my bed no less?!" A large man spotting a moustache and a rather funny looking goatee was standing with them in the tent, for who knows how long. His hands were crossed on his chest and he was definitely not happy seeing this lewd image before him.

Loki jumped up immediately, Thor slipping out of him, followed by a trail of sticky white liquid pouring out of him. He was lucky enough the nightgown covered his own member, for that would be quite a sight.

Thor sat up on the improvised bed, pulling the sheets over his nakedness, his mind so blank he couldn't even think of an excuse. And even in his most reasonable state, he couldn't have explained it to this man why was his translator riding him.

"Toninho!" The bearded man shook his head.

"His name is Thiago, actually…" Loki said with an astonishing composure.

"Whatever! He's Portugese, right?" The man shrugged, finding Thor's name not to be of great importance, focusing more on his deed. "I'm really disappointed in you, Portugese."

"Governor, I…" Thor begun, but was interrupted.

"I suspected something was going on. But this…" He spread his arms, looking first at Thor and then at Loki. "And you, Lorenzo! I noticed you were absent minded lately, but this…" He pointed at Thor again. "This is wrong."

"I'm sorry, sir. It will never happen again, I promise." Loki said modestly.

"You, dress up, you're going to the cage to spend the night there." He said to Thor.

…

The cage was usually meant for offenders or sometimes even served as a spot where people were locked up until they cooled off after a brawl. Thor was wondering what was in question when it came to his imprisonment – was he now being considered a criminal, or were they merely waiting for him to come to his senses.

He was offered food and water, but rejected both, his mind flying to the events from the night before. Loki has said something about being sorry, apologizing about something that didn't make sense back then, yet now… He had his suspicions about it all being a part of Loki's plan, which would mean he purposely tried to get rid of him, and that – now that was a painful notion.

He was curled up into a ball of despair, a state he could spend hours in, when he was startled by a visitor.

"Hey…" Loki greeted him cautiously as he sat next to the cage.

Thor looked up, not answering. His blue eyes just devoured the person before him. He wanted to scream, shout, curse at Loki, yet he could do none of those things.

"Thiago…" Loki started, one hand curling up around a wooden bar.

"I guess it's easier to get me executed, than dumping me." Thor snorted, trying not to cry.

"Don't say that… I did it for your own good." Loki said calmly, not denying what he was accused of.

Thor shook his head, expecting Loki would defend himself and beg for forgiveness, yet he did none of that, genuinely convinced he did it for Thor's wellbeing.

"How will dying benefit me?" He looked up, the bags under his eyes being the evidence of a sleepless night.

"You're not going to die. You'll be sent back to Spain with a ship that sails tomorrow from the port, bringing gold to the king."

"Sent back?" Thor's eyes have widened. "I came here to serve my duty as a soldier, I don't wish to be sent back, like a failure!" He grasped the bars with both of his hands tightly, now coming closer to Loki.

"The governor plans to conquer these lands, from here all the way to the Pacific. What follows is a merciless battle, one that will leave these lands swimming in blood, I don't wish to see you drown in it."

"You're not the one who gets to decide this in my stead!" Thor shouted. "I might disagree with governor's actions, but my duty is to serve him, regardless!"

"I have relieved you of this duty, I talked to him and he agreed to let you go home, Thiago." Loki slowly moved his hand to put it over Thor's, where it held the bar, but his was abruptly brushed off by the enraged prisoner.

"You're not my keeper, Lorenzo! You don't get to decide what is to become of me!" He hissed, glaring mercilessly at the man before him.

"Thiago, I… have come to… towards you…" Loki stuttered, trying to find the right words to express himself, yet not to reveal too much of his feelings. "I care… about you." He gulped.

"You care so much that you wish to send me across the ocean, never to see me again." Thor said monotonously.

"I wish you to live. I'd hate to see you die fighting for a cause you don't believe in."

"That decision was not yours to make." Thor shook his head.

"What you said the other day, about this whole expedition… about my siding with the enemy to defeat the Aztecs… how greatly you opposed to all of it… It struck a chord inside of me, because for the first time in this miserable life of mine, I've met someone so pure and innocent of heart as you. And I wanted you to stay that way till your last breath. Spending your time close to me… in this hell that surrounds us, I didn't want my darkness to rub off on you. I didn't want to bring you down with me."

Thor buried his face in the palms of his hands, wondering how one's life can change so drastically in just a matter of hours. Just last night he was reaching heavenly heights in Loki's arms and now he was sitting in a wooden cage, facing a deportation.

"If you hate it all so much, why don't you board the ship with me?" He lifted his head up, looking straight at Loki.

"You know why." Loki smiled at the idea, knowing how ridiculous it was. Not that he didn't think of it himself, a hundred times before. He knew it would be impossible for him to leave Central America, unless it was together with governor Enrique – and that man had no intention of leaving any time soon. He wanted to conquer the lands, and for that, he needed Loki's help. Having a person who understood the languages of indigenous people, who belonged to one of their tribes before accepting Christianity, he could smooth talk the Aztec leaders easily, offer them protection and knowledge and then slide in with his army once he had their trust, taking their gold and lives.

Letting go of his most prized possession and a mean to an end, 'Lorenzo', was simply not in question. And Loki knew it all too well to think about it any further.

"I'm bound to him and this place forever." Loki tried not to sound too desperate when he said it, but Thor could feel his sadness. He decided to let go of his hurt pride and reached out a hand through the bars, entwining Loki's fingers with his.

"I wish we had met in another time, far from this place, as different people." He sighed.

"Me too." Loki bit his lower lip, trying not to shed a tear.

…..

The next day, Thor was taken straight to the port, unable to say goodbye even to his closest friends and allies, such as Juan. The official explanation for his sudden departure was that he was necessary to guard the gold on its way back to Europe, in fear of the French or Dutch ships attacking them. Nobody knew the real reason, apart from himself, Loki and governor Enrique, who was finally relieved that his translator had no other worries on his mind, but how to help him conquer the new world.


	5. Tristan and Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time: early 18th century  
> Location: New Providence  
> Thor is... Tristan, the captain of a pirate ship  
> Loki is... Lucky, the owner of an inn and a brothel

Time: early 18th century

Location: New Providence

„The Thunderer! The Thunderer is back!"

Voices came from the street, announcing the return of one of the pirate ships whose crew always came back with a heavy plunder. It was early morning and Loki wanted nothing more than to lie around his bed for a few more hours, but as an innkeeper and owner of a brothel, he knew there was a busy day ahead of him and if he wanted to keep his reputation as a respected business man, he ought to keep his business well organized.

After spending weeks on the sea, with no women in sight, the crew of the Thunderer was very likely to visit his place and search comfort in the bosom of his girls. Business wise, the day was already a success, only if waking up wasn't so damn difficult.

Life on the New Providence was quite difficult, especially when one's existence depended on moody pirates and their success. Managing a whorehouse there was even more of a challenge, balancing between girls and their demands while trying not to disappoint customers at the same time – yet Loki somehow managed to do it, seeing how he inherited the business from his mother and spent his whole childhood learning the secret of the trade. Even though he was a man, the most important thing for him was to keep his employees safe and protect them from the cruel world they were living in, even if it meant making enemies – and having enemies who killed and robbed for their living was not something one would wish upon himself.

Having the Thunderer and its crew on the island meant that at least as long as they are back on the land, Loki could feel safe and protected, no matter what he did, for there was one person who always had his back, no matter what.

He carefully searched out a fresh shirt and even took a moment to comb his hair – looking presentable was always a priority, especially today. As he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he became aware of why he was so worried about his looks.

„Ugh, forget it! He won't even come today!" He yelled at himself and ruffled his hair back in its previous state. He didn't want to look too hopeful, especially after what happened last time.

Loki went down the stairs, earlier than usual and started preparing his inn for a busy day that was ahead of them. The girls were also ready, dressed up, with fresh layers of make-up, as if their customers really cared about that.

Victoria, one of the prettiest girls in the brothel, and one who was most sought out, snuck up from the back and scared Loki by tickling him. She came to a conclusion he was too tense and decided to play a little prank on him.

"What the…?!" He jumped up and turned around angrily. "Vicky, I'm quite busy here, can't you see?"

"Relax a bit, boss." She smiled without a worry.

"I'm not sure if you're aware that there's a busy day and an even busier night ahead of us, so there's no time for relaxation." He grunted out.

"Oh, …" She sighed. "How long has it been… eight? Nine weeks? I know it's too long, but soon, you'll be back with your captain and everything will be all right."

"Victoria!" Loki blushed and nervously turned around to see if anyone else is listening on to their conversation, wanting to correct her that thirteen weeks have passed, not eight or nine, but he managed to restrain himself from doing that.

"What?" She smirked naughtily, provoking him on purpose.

"For your information, captain Tristan and I ended our… our…" Loki had a trouble defining what exactly they ended. "He's not going to visit this establishment anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Vicky was visibly surprised.

"We had a fight and he stormed out angrily the last time he was here."

"Don't you always have fights?" She snorted, remembering how her boss and the captain usually have these petty fights about nothing in particular, that somehow always end with them retreating back to Loki's room where they spend hours settling their differences in bed.

"It's different this time." Loki sighed.

"Different how?" Vicky was curious.

"I asked him to stop doing what he's doing."

"What?! You mean, you asked him to stop fucking you?!" Vicky screeched.

"Shhhh!" He tried to silence her. "It's not… that, silly. Now be a good girl and get yourself ready, our customers are almost here."

"I am ready!"

"You don't plan on wearing this dress, do you?" He said in horror. "Wear the green one I gave you for Christmas, it suits you much better."

"What's the point, when it's going to come off anyway?" She shrugged.

"Vicky! For once, just do what I say…" He sighed helplessly.

Once the guests started arriving and the place was filled with unkempt men, sharing their loud and mostly made up stories, drinking and laughing, eyeing the girls, all Loki did was look around the brothel if he would see a familiar face, one he was hoping would come despite their latest row, but his hopes have sunken like a Spanish galleon loaded with an immense amount of gold.

The day flew by and in all the rush, Loki decided not to think about the man that didn't have the decency to visit him. He tried to convince himself it was fine like that – he would not take it to heart, for life has taught him many things over the course of time, one of those being the fact you should never trust anyone, no matter how many times they told you that they loved you.

„Aye, Lucky-boy!" A man with a long red beard yelled, waving in Loki's direction.

„Mr. Bartholomew, how can I help you?" Loki presented his best fake smile when talking to this smelly beast of a man.

„How many times do I have to tell you, it's Bart for friends."

„Sure... Bart! Is everything to your pleasing?"

„Aye! It is marvellous as ever. Being back on land is better than I remember it." He said while drinking up a pint.

„Was your recent mission a success?" Loki was curious, but judging by the good mood most of these men were showing, the answer was more than obvious.

„Of course!" Bartholomew said happily! „If it continues like this, especially if our captain's newest plan succeeds, we might be set for life!"

„Oh... so... you'll retire?" Loki was really surprised by this.

„Nah... not me. But some fellas have been talking about it. But let me spend my latest earning, Lucky-boy. Give me five of your prettiest girls!"

„Oh, Mr. Bart, I'm not sure you could handle five of them." Loki snickered at his remark.

„Then how 'bout you, Lucky-boy?" The man displayed a wicked grin, looking at Loki hopefully.

Loki just rolled his eyes, this wasn't the first time a drunken customer would try and suggest buying him for the night, but he knew getting angry would bring him nowhere. Playing it off with a smile was always a good idea, even though he was vomiting on the inside, upon the mere sight of this man. For if there was one rule everyone should have learnt by now was the one that 'Lucky' was not available for purchase.

„Oh, Mr. Bart, I'm sorry but there's no amount of gold that would get you this ass." He laughed while wanting to punch the old man in the gut and forbid him to ever step into his pleasure house again.

All of the sudden, an ominous presence crept into the room, leaning over Bartholomew, putting his large hand on the old man's shoulder.

„Barty, are you bothering this young entrepreneur with your follies?"

Upon realising who was behind him, Bartholomew was ready to take back all of his suggestions from earlier.

„Captain!" He almost screamed. „I didn't know you were here!"

"Isn't it natural? To come here, after a long journey?" The captain smiled, looking directly at Loki, but still squeezing Bart's shoulder. " here and his girls are the first place most of us come to."

"Yes, yes! Of course." Bart's confusion amused Loki greatly.

"Now, excuse me, Bart, I need to talk to , so may I have a moment?" He was talking to Bart but still looking only at Loki.

" , you just call me if you need anything, ok?" Loki smiled politely as he and the captain left the spooked out sailor.

Once they were at a safe distance, Loki turned around, visibly annoyed, his eyes shooting daggers.

"What do you want, Tristan?"

"Wow… thirteen weeks and this is all I get? No hug, no kiss, no 'I missed you'?" Thor frowned, pretending he was about to cry.

"Anyway… I thought you won't be coming."

"Why would you think that?!" Thor was surprised.

"Because… You know… How you ran out on me after I suggested we should leave this shithole?"

"Oh, that!" Thor suddenly remembered. "You didn't think that meant we're through, did you?"

Loki gasped, not knowing how to answer this.

"You did?! Oh, you idiot! It's not like I refused your offer! I just postponed it until we get our finances in check." Thor laughed.

Loki gave him a deadly stare, trying to stay angry at him, which was really difficult.

"Come on, don't be mad." Thor brushed Loki's upper arm, causing him to flinch and move away.

"Ugh… I'm kind of busy tonight, thanks to all your men starving for pussy." Loki rolled his eyes, ready to leave but was stopped by a hard grip around his arm.

"I heard what good old Bart said to you and I didn't like it." Thor whispered into his ear.

"He offered me a good deal there, I must say, it did sound tempting…" Loki lied through his teeth, enjoying the sour expression on Thor's face after hearing him.

"You little shit!" Thor started pulling him to the staircase that led up on the first floor, to Loki's bedroom.

"Hey, Tristan, what are you doing? I have business to supervise!" Loki protested, trying not to make to great of a scene.

Even though the inn was filled with people, nobody batted an eye on this all too familiar scene before them. It was always like that with the two of them – captain Tristan returning, rushing to this pleasure house, where Lucky would pretend to be angry at him… just so that the both of them could end up upstairs, not leaving the room for the next few hours. The same old game that would be fun to watch, if they weren't afraid of Tristan.

Once they were upstairs, Thor pushed Loki into the room, locking the door behind them.

"Poor Bart, ready to give up his riches for something I get for free!" Thor sneered with contempt.

"Shut up!" Loki yelled, stepping away from the smug captain. "You think you can just barge in here and get what you want?!"

"That's exactly what I think." Thor confirmed and followed Loki, closing the distance between them. "Come here… I was so lonely at the sea…" He reached out his hand.

"Why can't you be like the rest of them and find a girl, there's this new Spanish chick, Rosario, perfect for you…" Loki started rambling, trying to avoid eye contact.

"I bet she's a doll, but I don't want Rosie, I want you." Thor pulled Loki into a tight embrace.

"It's Rosario, not Rosie." Loki murmured into his shoulder.

"Whatever…" Thor kissed his head gently, still not letting go. "You look so pretty today. Did you prim yourself up for me?"

Loki hated this sort of teasing, it caused him to push Thor away, freeing himself from the embrace.

"Fuck you!"

"Oh, come on, darling, why must we always go through this?!" Thor sighed and threw himself onto the bed, sprawling his large body across it. "It's been three years and you're as reluctant as ever! We both know how this is going to end!" He whined.

"You're so full of yourself!" Loki spat out angrily.

"If you were in a better mood, you could have been full of me by now as well." Thor lifted his head up from the bed and smiled, expecting a reaction that included a fist to his gut or at least a slap – anything that made Loki come closer to him, where he would be easy to grab. Predictable as ever, just as Loki reached out to hit him, he was surprised by being pulled on top of Thor.

"Let go of me, you oaf!" Loki spouted, relentlessly trying to free himself from the grip.

"You're still so naïve and predictable as ever." Thor chuckled now when Loki's face was only inches away. He hooked his leg under Loki's knee and swiftly changed their positions, now hovering over him while Loki was the one pressed into the mattress.

His blue eyes stared intensely into Loki's, his facial expression showing gentleness and his lips curling into a smile.

"Stop staring!" Loki grunted.

"I can't! I'm mesmerized!"

"Idiot!"

"You're even more beautiful then you were when we met."

"You're not!" Loki snarled. "Your beard is hideous! I liked you better when you were a Lieutenant."

Thor sighed, defeated. He hated when it came to this, when Loki would mention his days spent in the Royal Navy, a time that seemed like a lifetime ago.

"You say you liked me better when I threatened to close your business and arrest all of your workers and customers?"

"Yep." Loki smiled wickedly. "You smelled better. Why did you give up your previous life and cleanliness?"

"Ugh! You very well know why!" He buried his head into the crook of Loki's neck, feeling defeated.

"Your beard is scratching me…" Loki complained but still instinctively started stroking Thor's hair gently as if he was trying to comfort him.

"Lucky! I missed you so terribly…" He murmured in between the kisses he has placed on the sensitive pale skin of Loki's neck. "Did you miss me at least half as much?"

Loki's breathing was irregular as he slowly felt his body giving in. Before he knew it, his legs were wrapped up around Thor, his heels digging into the small of his back and his hands went lower, in line with Thor's body, under his shirt, caressing his tensed muscles. And all he wanted to answer to the question asked was that it was so, that he missed Thor just as badly, but a small dose of pride still remained in him, causing him to deny it in whispers.

"I didn't even notice you were gone…"

"Liar!" Thor whispered into his ear and continued attentively placing kisses now across his jawline.

"Uh… I hate you, Tristan!" He continued his blatant lies as his body was more than honest, arching his hips up, grinding them into Thor.

"Mhmmm, yeah… I can sense it." Thor mumbled, failing to stay serious as he felt Loki's hard member poking him from underneath. He shifted his hips a bit, to show that he was as well eager for it, rutting back into Loki.

It was just a matter of moments before they would free themselves of the confinement of their clothes, now lying on the bed completely naked, both knowing what is to follow. Loki was no longer resisting, the game was over, Thor the winner as always, triumphantly hovering over his defeated prey, sinking between his legs with all his might in search for pleasure.

Loki's nails dug into the sunburned skin of Thor's back, leaving deep red marks as the price of pain he himself was feeling by being stretched out. Each time he would feel Thor thrust deep inside of him, he couldn't but moan and tighten the muscles around Thor's member.

His body failed him in his wishes to last longer than his partner and due to the help of Thor's hand, he was the first to come and spill out all over their naked bodies while Thor was still able to get a few deep thrusts before he erupted inside of Loki, filling him up to the brim.

As he crashed on top of him, panting, unable to come to his senses, he was pushed away by Loki, who needed some space.

"You can't sleep on top of me, you're going to smother me." He warned him.

"Who said anything about sleeping, you still owe me a thirteen weeks' worth of fucking." Thor crept back onto Loki, his energy recuperating suddenly.

"Ugh… Don't tell me you went thirteen weeks without getting that thing out of your pants." Loki rolled his eyes.

"As if my hand could compare to your sweet cavern." Thor smiled and gave Loki a big wet kiss on the cheek.

"Ugh… stop being so pathetic. And stop slobbering all over me!" Loki made a disgusted face and hurried to wipe the saliva off his face.

"Oh, that's a problem now, but you didn't complain when I stuffed you up with my juices."

"God dammit, Tristan!" Loki pushed him away, unable to look at his grin any longer.

"What?" Thor whined.

"Aren't you supposed to be a polite English gentleman or something? Stop acting like a ruffian." Loki snarled.

"I'm a pirate. I spend ten months a year among killers and thugs, you expect me to still have some class left in me?" Thor hated it when Loki brought up the story of his rich upbringing on a large English estate, getting the best education possible. He was ashamed of that part of his life, as well as afraid that it would ruin his credibility as a vicious pirate captain, even though most of the people were familiar with the fact he used to be in Royal Navy before becoming a pirate.

"Oh, you're just so tough, aren't you?" Loki mocked him.

"I am tough! I have to be tough! I'm sorry you had to grow up in this shitty place, but don't you see I'm doing all of this so we could have a better life?"

The moment Thor would mention Loki's life on New Providence, the hope for any reasonable conversation was over. He resented that he had to grow up as a child of a prostitute and an unknown pirate, never stepping foot out of this place, while Thor had it all back in England but decided to let go of it, all for him. He didn't know if it was envy what he felt or guilt, or both those sensations combined, but it was an unpleasant feeling.

"You can still go back if you resent it!" He growled at Thor, turning his back to him angrily.

"I hate when you get like this." Thor crawled after him, sticking to him like glue and putting an arm over his body.

"Like what?!"

"You know… When you doubt me and my resolution. I promised you I'll take you out of this place, you just need to be patient. One more quest and we can move to Boston. Start anew, just you and me…" He said sincerely, kissing Loki's naked shoulder.

"Again with this!" Loki was sick of hearing of Thor's impossible plans."We'll never have enough money for that. Let's just leave now."

"There's a rumour… the one I had to investigate today, before coming over… a Spanish galleon has sunken somewhere on the coast of Florida. Apparently loaded with gold."

Loki turned around, now interested in this story.

"If I find it…" Thor continued but was met with Loki's hand on his mouth.

"Don't! Don't do this anymore. I can't live like this…" He sighed after saying the first sincere thing since they have reunited.

"But if I find it…"

"Shhh… Tristan! No. We should just take what have and leave. It's enough, we can go to Boston with what you have and I can sell this place, it'll be enough." Loki jumped up, now sitting in the bed. He's had it enough with Thor's endeavours and his dangerous lifestyle.

"I don't want us to live in poverty. I want to give you the best lifestyle I can." Thor whined and put his arms around Loki's waist, trying to initiate another round of love making as he nudged his head into Loki's ribs.

"What will I do with you?" Loki sighed, defeated, while messing Thor's hair up.

"I know!" There was a victorious smile somewhere behind all that hair and beard. "You can ride me!"

"Oh, Tristan…" Loki shook his head, hating himself for actually caving in.

The Thunderer has left New Providence two months ago and there has been no word from it ever since. It was the hurricane season, so ships getting wrecked and lost at sea was a pretty common occurrence, one that Loki didn't want to think about.

His worries have become even greater once other ships and captains returned from the Florida area, claiming not to have seen the Thunderer or any of its crew, including the captain.

Loki knew he shouldn't have let Thor go on his latest quest, for no amount of gold was worth losing him. He dreamt about how they could have been in Boston right now, even if it meant living in a dirty hole, working 16 hours a day for a minimum wage and eating nothing but bread… But at least they would have been together, if only they'd left this place earlier.

"So, boss, what are you going to do?" Vicky asked him one day, noticing how he's spent too much time sitting in the window, watching the horizon.

"I'll wait. Forever if I have to…" He sighed, not turning his gaze away from the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and thanks you guys for you wonderful reviews, they really mean a lot to me :*


	6. Thorsten and Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time: early 1790s  
> Location: Vienna, capital of Habsburg Monarchy (Austria)  
> Thor is... Thorsten, a horse groom in a wealthy household  
> Loki is... Louis, a young aristocrat visiting his uncle's villa

"Thorsten, you lazy bum, it's half past five, you should have been tending to the horses already!" The house steward nudged him once and, upon seeing it was to no avail, opted for something more effective – a kick. "Thorsten! Wake up!"

"Ouch, Franz, do you have to be so goddamn ruthless?!" Thor barely lifted his head up, still sore from the kick.

"Master is going to have a special and thorough inspection today, considering his nephew is coming to stay with us." Franz warned him. "Now up on your feet and to the stables, boy! But first wash your face and at least try to look presentable."

Franz was never the one to let him off easily, especially not on important days like this one. Since only thanks to this stern old man he had a job in the first place, getting into a fight with him was never a smartest of ideas.

"Fine! I'm going, I'm going…" Thor grunted, slipped into a pair of boots and put his light coat on. Despite it already being November, his clothes didn't quite match the weather. Although he got a fair payment at this house, he still didn't have enough money to buy a new, weather appropriate coat, considering he had to send almost everything what he earned to his parents and siblings who lived in the countryside.

He was lucky to be able to work as a groom in such a big household, coming from a poor upbringing, ending up in a respectable house in Vienna, this was more than he could ever dream about. Having a roof over his head, three meals a day and some pocket money here and there made him the luckiest groom boy in all of Austria.

As he walked to the stables he could see his breath turn into vapour when he tried to blow it on his hands to warm them up a bit.

"It's freezing!" He came to a simple conclusion.

"Hey guys, did you sleep well? Didn't freeze in your sleep?" He asked the three horses once he entered the stables. Seeing as they had thick blankets thrown over their bodies he guessed it right -they were probably feeling warmer than he was right now.

Three hours later and he was done with the work, rushing to the kitchen to see if there were some breakfast leftovers for him.

"Here, Thorsti, honey, I saved some eggs and bratwurst for you." The cook, Maria, offered him a plate, almost devoured whole by Thor's hungry eyes.

"Wow, Maria, you're the best." He smiled and dug into it.

The kitchen maid Heidi, watched him in awe, not finding him any less attractive in his current state, even though he had sausage and sauce all over his face.

Thor was a dreamboat for all the female servants of the house (plus the gardner, Johann) and their favourite activity was watching him do things. Lifting things up, washing things, cleaning things… just things, and Thor. Especially during the summer since there was a great possibility he will do all those things with his shirt off.

"Close your mouth, Heidi, you're drooling all over the floor!" Maria yelled at the girl, causing her to flinch and run away from the kitchen.

"Maria! You scared the poor thing." Thor smiled, his mouth full of food.

"Well, these girls should just stop pestering you." Maria said angrily as she wiped her hands into her apron.

"Hm… I sense some jealousy here." Thor giggled, causing the old cook to get all red in her face. Despite there being an almost 40 year old age gap between the two of them, she found the young man extremely attractive.

"If I were twenty years younger…" She started.

"Only twenty?!" He laughed and earned a hit with the wooden spoon.

Their fun time was interrupted by the entrance of the stern butler Hans, who announced the master's guest has arrived and that the whole household was in an uproar since they weren't expecting him this early in the morning.

"I don't get it. How is some French guy related to our master?" Thor wondered.

"You know these rich people, they're all related." Maria answered, earning a nod from Thor.

The only one not laughing at her remark was Hans who proceeded to explain the relation.

"Herr Waldendorfer's mother's sister married a French nobleman Monsieur Antoine Rodain and they had a son Alexandre who also had a son, Louis, who is our guest today." He said proudly while Maria and Thor looked more confused than upon asking.

"So, like a cousin or something, this Luis?" Thor concluded, simplifying what he just heard.

"It's Louis, the 's' is silent." Hans corrected him.

"Whatever…" Thor laughed it off. Rich people were so complicated sometimes.

"I wish you were silent too, Hans." Maria laughed, causing the butler to frown.

"Anyway, thank you Maria, but I came here to inform our young Thorsten here that he is needed at the stables."

"Um… but I just got from there. I'm eating."

"Apparently, young master Louis would wish to see the horses. You should make them presentable."

"Ugh, can't he do something else first, like unpack maybe?" Thor protested, shoving as much food as would fit into his mouth before standing up.

"Young master is a great fan of horses." Hans said rather enthusiastically, causing Thor to roll his eyes.

 

 

Of course he had to be a spoiled rich kid, in perfectly fitted clothes, shiny riding boots, standing all tall and gracious with his shoulder length jet black hair and fair complexion. Compared to Thor's rugged looks, messy blonde hair and dirty boots it was pretty obvious which one enjoyed watching horses from the distance and which one was stuck cleaning behind them.

"So, you're the stable boy, huh?" Loki hissed nose as soon his great uncle has left him alone with Thor.

"I prefer the term 'groom'. And my name is Thorsten." Thor retorted, already not liking this guest and disregarding the warning to behave friendly.

"Ok, I'll call you stable boy, then." The young man smiled devilishly with his thin lips. "So, where are the horses?"

Thor led him to the stables reluctantly, thinking about the food he had left on his plate and wondering if it's going to wait for him once he's finished here.

"So, these are Luna, Edgar and Lady." Thor introduced the horses. "Luna is pregnant by the way, so she's a bit cranky." He smiled, stroking her head gently.

Edgar neighed once nervously upon sensing a stranger.

"Wow, he's tense. Is he the father?" Loki wondered.

"Ew, no… he's Luna's brother." Thor shook his head in disgust.

"So?"

"It would be wrong, breeding them since they're related." Thor thought things like that were common knowledge, especially to a supposedly educated nobleman such as this one. "Besides, I don't think they would go at it, they know they're siblings." He laughed and gave Luna a gentle pat on the neck.

"They're animals with basic instincts, they'd go at it if you'd let them." Loki said with a dead expression on his face.

"Ew, you're weird." Thor accidently said his thoughts out aloud.

"You're not allowed to tell me that, stable boy." Loki snorted.

"But it's the truth." Thor regretted his bluntness but still continued; hoping that maybe if he annoys the hell out of him, this stuck up young man will stay away from him in the future.

"You are supposed to nod your head and agree with everything I say, stable boy." Loki pierced through him with his intense green eyes.

"Not when you're saying stuff like that. So what, this means you'd have no problem sticking it into your sister?"

"I don't have a sister." Loki rolled his eyes.

"But if you had one?"

"Well, if she was hot enough."

"You French people are really disgusting, no wonder your country's torn apart right now and royal family's sitting in prison waiting to be executed." Thor hissed, annoyed.

"Whoa there, stable boy, no reason to guillotine me for disagreeing with you. It was just a joke, forget it." Loki tried to play it off.

"Sure…" Thor leaned on the fence and unconsciously checked Loki up, trying to imagine what his sister would look like, if he had one. He wondered if she would look anything like Loki since his features were pretty slender and gentle.

"What are you looking at?" Loki noticed.

"Nothing…" Thor looked at the ground and blushed, provoking a smirk on Loki's face.

He had him there, he knew it, the redness of his face and the sudden turn of the gaze giving it all away. During his eighteen years in this world, Loki was used to being looked at that way, by both men and women, as they yearned for his body, the desire visible in their eyes. So he decided to test Thor's limits some more, just for the fun of it.

"So, does Edgar have a huge cock?" He asked calmly as if he was asking about the weather.

"S'cuse me?!" Thor shrieked, unsure if he heard it right.

"You know… is he… massive?" Loki rephrased and motioned with his hands the length he estimated it to be.

"My god, I don't know, he's a horse!" Thor barely managed not to walk out on this guy and his nonsense.

"Do you think it would hurt?"

"Do I think what wou…" Thor started and then stopped in the middle of it, getting an idea of where Loki's dirty mind went with that one. "The horses need to rest, we better call it a day."

"You're no fun, stable boy." Loki sighed. "Just when it started to get interesting…"

Thor didn't quite understand what just happened here but he sure hoped this twisted young nobleman won't become a bigger problem. Little did he know it was just the beginning and his troubles are about to get real.

 

 

The following day, Thor did not oversleep his duties, tending to the horses before the first rays of sunlight, despite the cold that made him sink deeper into his light coat. He hoped early mornings would be too much trouble for the young master and that he wouldn't be forced to meet that strange young man. And he was right, at least for a couple of days, as he managed to avoid him successfully, until one afternoon, a request came from the master of the house himself, for Thor to take his nephew riding.

Thor feared the encounter as he dragged his feet over to the stables. He expected a long day ahead of him, where he would have to walk around, holding the reins of Loki's horse until the spoiled brat of a lord is satisfied. When he saw his slender figure, all prepped up in riding gear, holding a whip in his hands, he had to smirk. He wanted to bet that Loki would be one of those big talkers who'd shit their pants once they actually got on a horse.

"So, it's either Edgar or Lady, which one will it be for you?"

"I'll take the stallion, you can have the mare, thanks." Loki answered and leaned onto the fence waiting for Thor to saddle up the horses.

"Um… I'm not riding today, I'm just supposed to walk you around and watch that you don't fall off."

Loki had the most ridiculous look on his face, his eyebrows frowning, yet his lips drawn out in a smile.

"Are you jesting with me? I've been doing this since I got my first pony for my third birthday, I know how to handle a horse."

He sounded both amused and offended.

"Then why do you need me here?" Thor shrugged.

"To do the dirty work, stable boy. I don't do that…" He said and motioned in the direction of the saddles and reins.

Thor sighed, he should have suspected something like this.

"Oh yes, and you'll ride out with me, for company. I might get bored otherwise." Loki yawned to show the boredom was already kicking in. "Now, hurry up, let's go!" He cracked the horse whip in Thor's direction, missing him by an inch.

"Hey!" Thor glared at him angrily.

"What?" Loki shrugged innocently as if he had no idea what bothered Thor.

"Don't do that! With the crop, I mean…"

"I do what I want, horse boy!" Loki chirped happily.

"I thought it was stable boy. My nickname that is."

"Well then just consider yourself lucky, you've got yourself a promotion."

 

 

As Edgar and Lady were striding next to each other, the riders were mostly silent. Thor checking up on Loki from time to time, just to make sure he was doing fine. He didn't want the responsibility of master's injured nephew on his hands. So, when he finally whipped Edgar and the horse neighed and started galloping across the field, he reluctantly followed him.

"Hey, don't do that!" He yelled after Loki.

"I can't hear you, you're too far away!" The black haired boy yelled into the air.

"Goddamnit!" Thor hurried up after him, Lady fastening her pace.

"That's what I'm talking about, horse boy!" Loki laughed when he saw Thor has reached him and Edgar but was unpleasantly surprised when the servant reached over to his reins, forcing Edgar to stop their little race.

"Hey, why did you have to do that, you ruined all the fun."

"Don't run off like that!" Thor yelled at him, irritated, his nostrils flaring.

"You look like an actual horse, horse boy."

"Is everything a joke for you? This, what you just pulled on me here, it's dangerous, you could have fallen off!"

"Why are you so stuck up, Jesus Christ…" Loki sighed. "You're no fun."

"I'm not supposed to be fun. I'm here to serve you, not be your personal jester."

Thor mounted off grabbing both of Lady's and Edgar's reins into his hands. He turned around and started leading them back to the main house. It was a long way across the field, seeing as the otherwise huge villa seemed a size of an actual toy.

There was an awkward silence between them, Thor leading the horses angrily, wishing to reach the villa as soon as possible and Loki sighing loudly in the background, trying to catch his attention. Finally, Thor turned around.

"Will you stop huffing and puffing like that?! You're louder than the horses!"

"I can't, you ruined my day. All I wanted was a distraction from my horrible life, a nice day in the nature to forget my problems and you just had to take it away from me."

"Oh, come on, as if you have real problems…" Thor mocked him. "What, you couldn't decide what colour trousers to wear?" He sneered cynically.

"Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I don't have real problems!" Loki said, offended, trying to jump off the horse.

"Wait, at least warn me before you jump off so I can… Now you made him nervous." Thor tried to calm Edgar down.

"Ugh, you're such a judgemental asshole!" Loki took over Edgar's reins from Thor and marched forward. "I bet you're more understanding than this stupid horse boy, Edgar."

"Hey, wait, I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry for trivializing your problems but… I mean… How bad can they be?" Thor caught up with him.

"Bad enough I had to come to this place." Loki grunted out.

"What do you mean? I thought you loved it here at your uncles'?"

"You think I'd voluntarily leave Paris for THIS?!" He sounded as if Thor suggested something preposterous.

"What's wrong with THIS? Vienna is a beautiful city, full of music, art, theatre… whatever people like you would find interesting."

"I assume you've never been to Paris, then." Loki rolled his eyes. "You speak like a true peasant."

"Sorry, we can't all be cultivated like you, young master." Thor knew he was a simple country boy who hasn't seen much in his life, but being called out for it by this stuck up young lordling was just too much. He deemed the conversation over and even though he thought about asking what made Loki come here, he decided not to. He was no longer in the mood to further discuss anything with this guy.

"I didn't really mean to offend you." Loki was the one to break the silence between them.

Thor had nothing to say to that. Staying silent seemed like the best idea at the moment.

"Oh, come on! Now you're supposed to say you didn't really get offended, because you know you're a peasant and then ask me about the things I find troubling enough to be forced to come to this place." Loki grabbed him by the sleeve. "Wow, you have a summer coat on in the middle of the winter, it's so peasant-like."

Thor pulled his arm away.

"Stop it! I don't care why you came here…" Thor grunted, clutching his collar, trying to warm himself up in the coat.

"But I want to tell you, so we can both pity each other."

"Suuuure!" Thor snorted.

"Why do you have to be like that all the time, horse boy?"

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Ever since I came here, I have been trying to get your attention and you just keep on ignoring me. I'm not used to rejection." Loki pouted. "You should have been all over me by now."

Thor paused for a moment and then continued walking faster. The words coming out of Loki's mouth were too much for him. He was used to girls throwing themselves at his feet, but he was never before propositioned by a boy. Was this what it was all along? All the teasing, the dirty talking and the seductive leaning onto the fence? He just wasn't used to getting signals such as these from men. Every time a girl would try something, he'd immediately recognize and disregard it, trying to pretend it never happened, not wanting to have anything to do with the girls at work. Sometimes, he thought they had a cute bottom or a nice figure, but he never wanted to have anything with any of them. Was this the reason for it? Was he actually into men and never really aware of it?

"Hey, wait! Don't ignore me!" Loki took a hold of Thor's arm again, causing him to flinch and rip himself away from the grasp.

"Don't touch me!" He raised his voice.

"Fine… Thorsten, I get it. You're not into me, I'll stop."

"Why did you say that?" Thor suddenly turned his head to Loki. "My name… You called me by it, instead one of those stupid nicknames."

"It's just no fun anymore." He answered and looked at the ground.

They didn't speak anymore, the whole way back and the way seemed longer than it actually was. The horses followed them without a protest, sensing the tension in the air. Once they reached the stables, Loki didn't know if he should say something or not, as Thor continued to ignore him, dedicating his attention to the horses.

"Um… thanks for today. Sorry if I bothered you." He said shyly, which was quite a different demeanour than that he has shown earlier that day.

"Mhmmm." Thor murmured incoherently, not lifting his head up while grooming Edgar. The next time he looked around the stable, Loki was gone and he felt a huge relief.

 

 

"Ugh, Maria, this roast beef is the best!" Thor smiled while devouring everything on his plate. Maria has yet again saved up some dinner leftovers for her favourite boy.

"You need to restore your energy, you've spent the whole day outside." She patted him on his back, happy to see he's enjoying the meal.

"Mhmmm, I'm so tired." He barely mumbled with his mouth full of meat.

"But it's a nice thing you did, showing young master Louis around. He needed some distraction, after everything he's been though, poor thing." Maria said, causing Thor to drop his fork.

"What do you mean?" He was so curious he had to stop eating.

"I mean, the way he had to flee from Paris, his parents being imprisoned and people threatening his life. I don't know much about foreign affairs, but there's some kind of a revolution in France." The cook explained as much as she was familiar with.

"Oh… I didn't know… I didn't know that." Thor wiped his mouth into the napkin, suddenly not feeling that hungry.

"Apparently, our master was quite upset over it and he's trying to help as much as he can to the poor boy. What is it, Thorsti? You still have some beef on your plate. That's unusual."

"I'm just not that hungry anymore, sorry, Maria. But it was delicious!" He shared a sour smile and decided to go back to his room.

On the way to the servants' quarters he passed through the hallway that looked straight at the stables. He noticed a faint light coming from there and tried to remember if he was the one leaving it that way. Forgetting a lamp among the hay was very dangerous and it wasn't like him to be that forgetful, but after today's stressful events, he wouldn't put it past himself.

"Oh, it's you? What are you doing here this late?" He was surprised upon seeing Loki sitting on the fence that divided Luna's box from Edgar's.

"I'm talking to the horses." Loki answered with monotony, without a witty retort Thor was getting slowly used to.

"As long as you're not trying to assault them…" Thor tried to be funny but the 'crowd' didn't really fall for his humour. Loki sighed melancholically while Luna, Lady and Edgar just looked his way.

"Listen…" Thor continued on a more serious note. "I'm not like you."

"Yes, I know, you like girls, I get it. Stop reminding me of it." He covered his face with his hands, unable to face Thor after that embarrassment earlier.

"No… I mean… I don't know what I… What I want. And you… you're not afraid to speak your mind."

"And because of that quality of mine you have deemed me reckless, spoilt, rude and overbearing, so… I don't think that's a quality you should admire."

"Maybe that's good. If you give your all, maybe in the end you'll get what you want."

Loki looked straight at Thor, jumping of the rail he was sat upon. He closed the distance between them, pushing Thor up against Lady's door, trapping him between both of his arms. He breathed in once and crashed his face into Thor's, landing a deep kiss onto his lips.

After Loki moved away, Thor was left in awe, confused by this sudden shift in atmosphere, touching his own lips with his fingers as if to prove all of this was real, but still unable to speak. He wasn't sure if this was something he wanted to happen or something he'd like to forget. The black haired boy just smirked, licking his lower lip.

"It's something to remember me by, horse boy." He said and took the lamp with him, leaving Thor in complete darkness.

That night, Thor had trouble falling asleep, the earlier events repeating themselves over and over again in his head, each time with a different ending. In one of the scenarios he would push "Louis" away and curse his indecent action and in another he'd rip his clothes from his body and ram himself into him. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to calm his heartbeat. He felt his lips pulsating as he still sensed that gentle touch on them.

He didn't really remember when he had fallen asleep, but all this trouble made him oversleep his usual waking hour. In situations like this one, he could always count on a friendly kick to get him to wake, provided by the house steward, yet today was a bit different.

Thor rushed into the kitchen, still struggling with putting his shirt on and rubbing his eyes, unable to see clearly.

"It's seven thirty! Why didn't Franz wake me up?!" He was a bit out of it, worrying the horses would be already waiting for him, yearning for some breakfast.

"Oh, everyone has been so busy, preparing for master Louis' departure, guess he forgot to wake you." Maria answered.

Thor disregarded the whole sentence except for the part he deemed important.

"Louis' departure?! Where did he go this early?"

Maria shrugged, not able to give a complete explanation but still knowing more than Thor. "Master figured it would be best for young master's safety if he sends him somewhere overseas."

"Overseas?!" Thor was astonished by this sudden development. Loki didn't mention any of it yesterday. Just when they finally started getting along, Loki was gone? Before he himself could even figure out what he wanted.

He ran out to the stables, seeing that both Edgar and Lady were missing, meaning they were probably pulling the carriage in which Loki left. If he wanted to ride out after him, he only had Luna left and considering her high stage of pregnancy, he didn't want to endanger her foal.

"What has gotten into me?" Thor asked himself, unable to explain this sudden rush of blood into his chest, the heart rate going up just by thinking about this rude young lord. He's known him less than a week, yet he couldn't get him out of his head. Running after him seemed like such a natural course of things… but why?

He sat on the ground, getting a confused neigh from Luna, trying to think clearly. Even if he could make it in time and stop the carriage, what would he do? Proclaim his feelings to a boy he has known for such a short time? A boy few ranks above him, a noble, whose uncle he served… He deemed himself an idiot for even considering it.

"I'm just a stable boy anyway…" He said out loud, thinking it was the voice of reason speaking from him.


	7. Thornton and Locke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time: 1880s  
> Location: England  
> Thor is... Alexander Thornton, a young Lord  
> Loki is... James Locke, a scholarship student

"It's actually quite unbelievable you know, Mr. Locke, that a boy like you would be this lucky to acquire a place at such a prestigious institution as Kensington Academy." The principal didn't even try to hide the fact he considered Loki to be unworthy of his newly acquired status as a pupil at the Academy. Someone of his humble upbringing had nothing to do at a school like this, and it seemed as if everyone seemed to agree on that.

"Yes, I have only Lord Thornton to thank for this." He answered shortly, lowering his head. He still couldn't believe his father's former employer decided to help him through school. And not just any school, but the one in which Lord's son was enrolled as well.

"Lord Thornton is one of our most valuable benefactors, we could never deny his request. Not even one as unlikely as this one…" The principal rolled his eyes. "We even managed to get you into the room with young master Thornton, since his father said you were friendly."

Loki suddenly felt ill. He remembered the summers he spent at the Thornton's' summer residence (where his father worked as a head of staff) when he was still a child, the days he's spent with that boy, running through fields, playing on the fresh air… and he also remembered how suddenly the two of them grew apart, resulting in his friend not returning to the residence for the following two summer breaks.

"So… I'll share a room with Alex? I mean… Alexander?" He asked nervously.

"Yes, I'm sure he won't mind it since you're good friends and everything…" The principal was still unimpressed.

Loki would have agreed with this two and a half years ago, yet today? He was sure the other boy would be angry at this decision to place them together into the dormitory.

 

Thor was sitting on his bed, awaiting his new roommate nervously. He was angry that his father decided to sponsor some underprivileged kid and that he was the one who had to deal with it for the rest of the school year. He was well familiar with his father's antics, always wanting to help others. As if Thor didn't have his own buddies to hang out with, now he'll have to drag this charity case around. The weirdest thing was, his father didn't even tell the boy's name or any kind of background information about his future roommate.

At the same time, Loki was standing on the other side of the door, too afraid to take a step further, clutching his small suitcase, wondering if he should knock, or just enter, since it was his room, as well.

In the end, he decided to knock. He guessed it was only polite to do so.

"Come in… whatever." Thor grunted from the inside of the room.

The first thing Loki saw upon entering the room was that blond young man, sitting on the bed, uninterested. He changed a lot in the past couple of years, namely he grew bigger and his face was more serious, his bone structure more prominent, yet his eyes were the same. He would recognize those eyes anywhere.

Yet Thor seemed not to recall him at all. He stood up slowly and introduced himself, shaking hands with Loki.

"Hello! My name is Alexander Thornton and you must be my new roommate…" He said in a low voice.

"Um… nice to meet you Alex…ander. I'm James. James Locke." Loki answered, waiting if his name will trigger something in Thor, but there was nothing.

"Nice to meet you, Locke. Make yourself at home, I hope you won't mind if I leave now, I already made some plans with my lads."

"Sure! Just… go, do your thing…" Loki faked a smile.

Once he was all by himself, he slumped onto his bed. He couldn't believe Thor didn't remember him, when they've spent every summer together. For almost ten years they would spend two months not leaving each other's side and now, he called him by his surname and has given him a very cold welcome. If that stiff introduction could be called that at all.

Unpacking seemed like such a drag, even if he had only few shirts and some underwear to take out of the old suitcase and place them on the shelf. He just took off his blazer, so it wouldn't get wrinkled, and opted for spending the rest of the day sprawled over his bed, watching as the rays of sun slowly disappeared from the small room. He expected someone as wealthy as Thor to live in a different kind of a room, but in the end – everyone was rich here, so there was no actual reason for Thor to be treated differently. After all these years he has spent wishing they were on the same level, he finally had his wishes come true, only for Thor not to remember him. That notion was quite painful to swallow.

Loki jumped up upon hearing the door open. He took a moment to realize where he was and then it hit him, as well as the fact that Thor was standing before him.

"Sorry… I just… I need something from my room." Thor was visibly confused. He rummaged through his drawer in search for his flask. He tried to hide it from Loki's sight, but he managed to see it before Thor hid it under his shirt. "I'm going out with my friends tonight, so you can have the room all for yourself, Locke." He said while avoiding looking straight into Loki's eyes.

"I didn't know this place allowed going out." Loki was confused.

"Well, I'm not sure they do but… I'm Alex Thornton, so…"

Yes, Loki immediately figured out what it meant. Thor was getting a special treatment around here after all.

"Listen, I would have invited you to come with us, but since this party is kind of private, I'm not sure if…" He started, but was soon interrupted by Loki.

"Sure, you don't have to explain yourself at all. I totally understand. No problem. I would have rejected the invitation anyway since I have to… study." Loki was angry at himself for sounding to defensive, but the words just flew out of him.

"Wow! You're diligent. You didn't even have any classes yet and you already have to study." Thor raised his head barely, enough to catch a glimpse of Loki's red cheeks.

"Yeah… That's me." He smiled and turned away from Thor, pretending to look for something in his suitcase. "I don't want to fall behind in my studies."

"Sure." Thor said as he grabbed his flask firmly. "See you tomorrow then, Locke."  
"Yeah… see you,… Thornton." Loki barely managed to reply, this unfamiliarity Thor has been giving him eating him up from the inside.

 

 

"Thornton, my lad, you are soooo late!" One of the boys sitting behind the bar at the local pub greeted him with open arms.

"Shut up, Northbrook!" Thor rolled his eyes and sat on one of the stools, barely managing to keep his balance.

"Whoa! You already had some fun without us." Northbrook dug his hand under Thor's blazer only to discover an empty flask.

"Yeah, well… I had a rough day." Thor complained as he raised his hand to order a drink.

"Say, Thornton, I heard you have a new roommate." A boy with ginger hair sat next to him, pushing Northbrook away, causing him to protest.

"Hey, Connington, I was sitting here." Northbrook said angrily.

"Guess everyone wants to be close to Thornton." Connington smiled wickedly, enjoying the frustration on his friend's face.

"Oh, sod off, Connigton!" Northbrook rolled his eyes and decided not to fight for Thor's attention, knowing he would eventually lose this battle since Connington was always so fixated on him.

"So, tell me, Thornton, what's your new roommate like? You know, I actually asked the principal to transfer me to your room, yet he declined it. I thought you would have liked it better to be someone you knew." Connington sighed and placed an arm over Thor's back.

"He's a pain." Thor said after chugging a full glass of scotch down.

"You see, that's why it would have been smarter to pick me as your roomie." Connington smiled and leaned further towards Thor, their faces now being only inches apart.

"Hey, man! Don't be creepy like that!" Northbrook warned him from a seat further away, where he transferred after being pushed out of his original place.

"Our Alex was just complaining how his new roommate happens to be a pain in the ass." Connington replied.

"Pain in the ass." Thor repeated only the last part of the sentence, generally oblivious to the rest of the things Connington has said.

"I told you to bring him tonight, I wanted to meet him." Northbrook smiled as he shouted to Thor.

"Shut up, Northbrook, we don't need him here with us. Since our friend doesn't like him, he's obviously a massive dick." Connington hissed, rubbing his hand into Thor's back.

"Massive dick." Again, Thor seemed to catch only the last part of what his redheaded friend has said and repeated it automatically.

"I would have loved to meet him, though." Northbrook sounded disappointed. He has overheard the rumours of this mysterious new student that was joining them this year, yet nobody has seen him yet, except from Thor, who obviously wasn't in the mood to share much about him.

"He's busy studying…" Thor rolled his eyes, staying silent about not even inviting him.

"It's better like that, we don't need any more people in our little gang." Connington came to a conclusion.

"What's wrong with being sociable though?" Northbrook disagreed with his friend.

"Another!" Thor interrupted the conversation between his friends by ordering yet another scotch. The bartender cast him a judgemental look, but he was all too familiar with who he was and therefore afraid to reject the service.

"Come on now, Thornton, you obviously already had more than enough." Northbrook tried to warn him, yet his words seemed not to catch on to Thor.

"Oh, let him have some fun, for Christ's sake." Connington rolled his eyes.

"Just don't expect me to help you drag his passed out ass back into the dorm."

"Don't worry. I'm more than capable in handling that task all by myself, thank you very much." Connington smirked devilishly, liking where this night was going.

"I don't feel well." Thor suddenly came to realization as another glass of alcohol was placed before him.

"You see?! I told you this was going to happen." Northbrook jumped up from his chair, deciding it was time to wrap this party up.

The expression on Connington's face was a disappointed one, for he didn't think Thor would give up this easily. "I thought you said you weren't going to help him get back."

"Yeah, well… what can I do..." Northbrook sighed.

 

 

Falling asleep in a strange place was never easy, Loki realized as he struggled to find a position that would make it comfortable. The room was dark, but the fact that this was the room where Thor has lived for the past year, made it strangely soothing. He wondered where he was right now and what he was doing, coming to a conclusion he was probably having fun somewhere, drinking and being entertained by his friends. He assumed they were accompanied by some local girls, for it was only natural for young men to seek out such company.

He turned to the side, trying not to think about that evening two years ago, when they kissed in the sunset and how Thor climbed over him, causing the both of them to end up lying in the tall grass, their hands exploring the nakedness under their clothes as their tongues clumsily got used to kissing.

Before he knew it, Thor's hand was in his pants, touching his member, causing it to grow bigger. Only few strokes later he came all over the place. And then… something awful happened, causing Thor to run away, not only from Loki that night, but out of his life for the following few years.

Loki suddenly felt sick to his stomach, remembering the past. As he slowly returned to the present, he noticed his hand was in his pyjamas, doing the same as Thor has done to him that day.

"Fuck!" He was disgusted by his actions but still continued doing it, as fast as he could, just to get it over with.

Once his palm was filled with his cum, he realized he had to wash it off. The way to the communal bathroom seemed long even though it was located on the same floor. Luckily, nobody else was in the hallway at this late hour, so he managed to go unnoticed. But on his way back, he was out of that luck.

"This must be him!" A tall brown haired boy exclaimed when he saw Loki approaching. He was coming out of Loki's room.

A shorter, ginger boy followed him, his facial expression not as friendly and cheerful. "Nothing special." He said in a low voice, but Loki was still able to hear it.

"Behave." The first one nudged him with his elbow. "Hi! I'm William Northbrook, you must be… Thornton's roommate?" He reached out his hand to Loki.

"Yes… Um… Nice to meet you. I'm James Locke." He accepted the handshake and proceeded to do the same with the other boy whose grip was much more hesitant and looser than Northbrook's.

"John Connington." He shortly said his name and wiped his hand into his trousers after letting go of Loki's.

"I was really hoping he'd bring you with him to the pub, since we planned tonight's gathering as a sort of welcome party in your honour… being a new lad in school can be quite difficult." Northbrook smiled. "Too bad you were busy."

"Yeah…" Loki gulped once. "I was really busy. But I appreciate the effort. Maybe next time."

"Yes, you were greatly missed." Connington snorted.

"Anyway… Your roommate is passed out on his bed, I'm guessing he won't be waking up till the afternoon." Northbrook smiled, visibly uncomfortable for his friend's unpleasant behaviour towards Loki.

 

Once Loki was back in his room, he barely managed to find where his bed was in the dark, but he had no problem recognizing those blond locks sprawled on the pillow on the other side of the room. If falling asleep was a problem, trying to do so with Thor only few feet away was probably impossible. And to imagine he would have to do so every night for the rest of this school year… A true challenge.

 

But in the end, living with Thor wasn't as difficult as he imagined it to be, the biggest reason for it being the fact their paths rarely ever crossed. When Loki would wake up, Thor was still asleep and they didn't meet for the rest of the day, having no subjects held at the same time. Even during lunch they managed to stay apart, even though Thor's buddy Northbrook always called out for him to join their table, but Loki would always politely decline, stating he had to go to the library or making up some other excuse. In the evening, Thor would usually go out and return after midnight, when Loki was already in deep slumber. On the rare occasions they would meet, it was mostly both of them trying to avoid looking into each other's eyes and speaking only as much as was necessary.

Northbrook was one of the few people he befriended at the academy, they had literature classes together and would sometimes discuss their favourite books and authors. From time to time Northbrook would mention Thor – something he has said or done and Loki lived for moments like those. This way, he felt as a part of his life, without actually bothering Thor with his presence.

So, an invitation to spend a few days during their winter holidays at Northbrook's estate was not that much of a surprise, since he invited everyone he considered a friend. Naturally, it meant Thor was also going to be there, so Loki knew he couldn't accept that offer. Hunting wasn't really his thing anyway. But Northbrook tried to convince him they are going to have a great time, regardless of the hunt and that he wouldn't even have to participate in it.

Northbrook was still convinced Thor and Loki were childhood friends and was really oblivious to the fact the two of them have barely had any contact in the past few months.

 

In the end, Loki agreed to visit the countryside, hoping he would manage to survive a week's time, just as he managed to go through school without actually having a real conversation with Thor. Besides, there were going to be at least dozen other of his schoolmates, so it's not as if they would have to speak to each other. The only problem was that Northbrook, when arranging the rooms at his castle of a house, somehow thought it was a good idea to place the boys the same way they were sleeping back at the dormitory, meaning Loki and Thor would have to share a room again.

The room at the Northbrook's estate was much larger than the one at the academy. Actually, Loki has never slept in a room this big and lavish. It had a huge fire mantle and a gorgeous view that spread out all the way to the woods.

"So… we're sharing a room again, huh?" Thor suddenly appeared behind his back, causing Loki to flinch.

"Yeah! Will and his planning." Loki snorted, trying to keep his cool, still focusing his view somewhere outside, not turning around.

"Will?!" Thor grunted, visibly unsatisfied with this familiarity in Loki's voice when referring to Northbrook.

"You know… our host? Northbrook?"

"I know my friend's name, I just find it funny someone referring to him as 'Will'. I obviously remember what my friend's names are, Jesus, Locke!" He was irritated, since not even he called Northbrook by his first name.

"Yet you seem to have forgotten mine…" Loki said, more to himself, but it somehow sounded louder than he wanted it to be.

There was a moment of awkward silence, a moment that lasted so much longer in Loki's mind than it actually did. All he heard from behind was a sigh or two, meaning Thor was still in the room and then, the silence was broken by Thor.

"I didn't forget you, Jamie Locke. How could I ever?!"

Loki barely managed to turn around, since those were the first truthful words he has heard from that man since they were reunited. After months of being ignored and avoided by him, he finally heard those words he was dying to hear.

"That day… When I entered your room… Why did you pretend not to know me, then?" Loki needed answers and all of the sudden he felt brave enough to seek them out.

"I couldn't face you… not after what I had done to you that day, in the field." Again, Thor was not able to look him in the eyes, so he cast his gaze to the floor.

"What you did to me? Alex? I… we… I mean…" Loki didn't know which words to use for it not to sound too dirty. He didn't succeed to do so, without returning to that day and place in his mind and remember how they did it there in the grass, Thor's cock thrusting into him, causing him pain and making him feel sensations of a different kind as well, ones he has never experienced before. And how, once Thor has released inside of him, the sight of Loki's defiled body, covered in a mix of semen and blood, caused Thor to run away in disgust.

"To this day, I haven't forgiven myself for the sin I have committed against you." Thor said apologetically.

"Against me? It's not like I didn't want it to happen." Loki was confused.

"I hurt you… you were bleeding…"

"Yes, it did hurt, but I wanted you…" Loki said, not being able to believe these words are coming out of his mouth. In fact, he wanted to say even more, of how much he wanted Thor before he even realised what it meant, before he felt any kind of a sexual urge towards that man, all he wanted was to be near him, to be his friend and how he lived for those two months of cold English summer when he would finally manage to see him.

"Jamie…" Thor once again used the nickname he had for Loki back when they were younger.

"I wanted you and when I finally got you, I thought you were so repulsed by what I truly am that you decided to run away from me forever."

"Repulsed? By you?" Thor was repulsed indeed, but only by hearing what Loki thought has happened back then. "How could I be repulsed by you when you look like you do?" He finally managed to look up, just to see if he remembered Loki's face correctly. After spending so much time avoiding him, it was finally the right time to look at him properly.

Once their eyes connected, the expression on Thor's face finally loosened up. He realised what a ridiculous misunderstanding kept them apart for such a long time, only because they never truly discussed their true feelings. He decided to end it – there was no more time to waste, from now on, he was going to speak only the truth when it comes to Loki. He took a hesitant step ahead, closing the distance between them and upon seeing Loki was not moving back, he took another. And another, until he was so close to him he could reach out and touch his face.

"Jamie, you can't imagine the hell I went through being so close and not being able to touch you." He said, gently stroking Loki's left cheek.

"I didn't know you wanted to…" Loki said, now closing the gap between them completely, positioning himself for a kiss.

"Ugh…" Thor made an annoyed sigh. "You have no idea!" He went in for it, not being able to restrain himself for a moment longer.

Their kiss was as clumsy as the first one they shared, tongues and teeth meeting in a mess beyond their control, but neither of them wanted to break it. As it went on, they slightly caught the hang of it. Thor pushed Loki up the windowsill, which was wide enough so he could sit on it and wrap his legs around Thor, digging his heels into his lower back. He pushed his fingers into the blond mess of a hair, finally being able to feel him under his fingertips.

When they finally decided they still needed some air for breathing, the reluctantly let go of each other, panting, Loki's fingers stuck in Thor's hair.

"It feels as if we're sucking each other in." Thor laughed. "So, want to try it for real?"

"Try it?" Loki asked shyly, completely aware of what Thor was referring to.

"Here." Thor suddenly got all serious as he placed his hand on Loki's crotch. He didn't waste any time and he soon found himself kneeling on the floor, unbuttoning Loki's trousers.

"You don't have to… I mean… I can do it to you if you want to." Loki hesitated, feeling embarrassed.

"I can do it. I mean, how hard can it be?" He said and upon releasing Loki's cock, he realised one thing. "Actually, I'm wrong, it's very hard. Very." He chuckled and grasped the erect thing into his hand first, causing Loki to flinch.

"Ugh, Alex…" Loki decided to stop resisting it, now even pulling Thor's head closer.

Feeling the hot mouth engulfing his member all at once felt new to Loki. It was nowhere near the sensation a hand could provide, it was much more intimate. He tried to stay focused, prolonging his release, but as soon as he felt his head hitting the back of Thor's throat, he couldn't but to release himself at once.

Seeing Thor's face covered in semen, it running from his mouth and almost making him choke on it, caused Loki to sit down next to him, trying to clean him off as he apologized for his fast finish.

"I'm so sorry, Alex, here, let me get this for you…" He used his shirt to try and clean him off.

"Don't be sorry, we'll find a use for all of this." Thor smirked and spat out the rest of it into his hand. "Now take your clothes off."

He instructed Loki to position himself on his elbows, with his bottom high up in the air.

"Last time I hurt you by going in so suddenly, so I better prepare you now." Thor said as he wetted the area around Loki's hole with the semen he collected a moment ago. He rubbed it first, until he decided it was time to try if his fingers could go in.

"Ah… Alex… have you done this to someone else?" Loki was wondering, since this was so much different compared to their first time when they did it with no lubrication.

"Of course not. I just thought about it a lot. You're the smart one, Jamie, this is just basic hydraulics, not higher science."

Loki had to laugh, at least until he felt Thor's fingers slowly pressing into him. It wasn't nearly as painful as last time, he could even say it felt kind of pleasant. Actually, it felt so pleasant, he raised his ass up a bit more, wanting to feel those fingers deeper.

"Ah… what's happening to me…" Loki couldn't believe how his hips started moving on their own.

"I guess you like it?" Thor snickered, satisfied by this sight. Only the thing trapped inside of his pants wasn't feeling quite satisfied by being hidden away. Seeing Loki's opening twitching before him so lewdly, he felt the instant urge to dive into him. He clumsily tried to unbutton himself with one hand, as his other was with three fingers in Loki.

Loki tried turning his head slightly, to see what was going on, why the sudden change in rhythm.

"I'm ready for it, come on." He encouraged Thor.

"Let's move to bed. I want to do this properly."

The covers flew off as they reached one of the beds, and threw themselves into it. Loki was on his back, ready, as Thor still fought his own clothes, trying to get rid of these confinements as quickly as possible.

The moment when they finally joined made them lose it. Nothing else in the world mattered, not the difference in their status, not the school, not even those two years they have spent apart and especially not people who if they knew what was going on, would probably lynch both of them.

Thor thrust in and out of Loki as if that was the most natural thing in the world and Loki's body invited him in, as deep as he could go. They caught a pace they both found pleasant and continued to move in synch. Loki felt all of his muscles clamping as he felt close to another orgasm and Thor was also prepared for a release, as his cock twitched in anticipation.

Soon, he was filling Loki up with his juice, the energy he has pent up for months seemed to pour out of him all at once. Loki was already out of it, panting half asleep, his muscles now all relaxed, as Thor finished and pulled himself out, leaving a wet trail. Loki's ring of muscles still twitched, trying to get used to his sudden loss as the liquid poured out of his hole thickly.

Thor slumped his body next to Loki's, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Loki's neck.

"We should probably get dressed." Loki finally managed to say something.

"Naaah…" Thor rejected the idea.

"Um… don't you have to go hunting… or something?" Loki raised his right eyebrow, trying to remind Thor of the purpose of his visit to this estate.

"Hm, I already caught myself what I wanted." He smirked with satisfaction and placed a kiss into Loki's head.

"Will, I mean, Northbrook will be disappointed if you don't come along. Besides, it will be weird if we both stay in the room together." Loki looked up, gently blushing, embarrassed from the sudden attention he was getting from Thor.

"Ugh… you're right!" Thor had to admit. "Northbrook will be mad if I leave him with Connington. But listen, when I return…" he interrupted his speech for another quick kiss "I expect a continuation… of this."

Loki smiled shyly, still not completely aware of what just happened – was it one of those dreams that he's had recently where he'd get back together with his first love? Well, if it was, waking up would be such a disappointment.

"Once you return… with a mallard or something, you'll be properly rewarded." Loki smiled.

"Actually, we're going pheasant hunting, so…" Thor had to laugh.

"Well, whatever, I'll be waiting for you Alex."

 

 

Loki spent the rest of the day walking around the empty corridors of the house, with pretty much everyone gone shooting. So, when he bumped into Connington, he was unpleasantly surprised, since he overheard him, back at the academy, talking about how he couldn't wait to take this trip. Since the two of them weren't really on friendly terms, Loki decided to pass him by, without an unnecessary chit-chat, but Connington had a different idea.

"Hey, Locke, I'm counting down the minutes till that smile's wiped out from your face!" He shouted after him.

"What do you want, Connington?" Loki rolled his eyes, not paying much attention to the exact words coming from Connington's mouth.

"Actually, peasants like you should address me with Lord Connington, not that a simpleton like you would know good manners." He snorted, getting to close into Loki's personal space.

"Sure, whatever…" Loki was really not in the mood for it, so he just tried to walk away calmly, but the red headed shorty just wouldn't let him have it.

"Hey, peasant, don't turn away from me when I'm talking to you. You think you can barge in here, feeling equal to the rest of us and take everything away from me?!" He pulled Loki's sleeve, making it impossible to walk away calmly.

"I really don't want to fight you right now…"

"I've been waiting for a chance to be with Thornton since we entered the academy together. Four years! Do you know how long that is?! Huh?! Do you?! And you just walk in and sweep him up right in front of me."

Loki wanted to laugh in his face. Four years? Measly four years? What was that compared to the amount of time he has spent waiting for him. Was it ten years? Or more… well, it certainly felt like more, Loki was sure of that.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I have barely spoken a word to him." Loki was lying, yet it was actually truth right up till this day.

"I saw you, Locke…" Connington said calmly. "I went out for a walk and accidentally looked up… Kissing in the window shamelessly, truly a disgusting display. Tell me, how did you lure him in? Did you blackmail him with something so now he has to do as you say?"

Loki stood in the place, frozen. Since Connington has witnessed it with his own eyes, there was no point in denying it any longer.

"Well, you know what, Locke? If I can't have him… neither can you." He smiled wickedly.

Loki just stood there, not really getting it. His mind went with thinking Connington will probably rat them out to the student council and the principal, causing one or even both of them to be expelled from the Academy. But he decided that he wouldn't care about it, even if the price he would have to pay for it was getting expelled, leaving Thor was not an option.

Before he could answer anything, a loud noise and a sudden commotion coming from the outside interrupted him, causing both Loki and Connington to come down the stairs to see what was happening.

Northbrook entered the house, all covered in blood. Pale as a ghost and his facial expression was rather dire so when he noticed Loki, he ran to him immediately.

"James!" He took him by the hand and started pulling him outside. "He's asking only for you, hurry."

"Will? What happened?" Loki was scared and confused. Where did all this blood come from? Northbrook was obviously fine enough to walk, yet he was covered in it. Even though Loki didn't know much about hunting, you weren't supposed to get like this from a simple pheasant shooting.

On the outside, among all the men who were out of their minds and dogs running around freely, he noticed a scene that caused his stomach turn. There, on the stretchers, in a pool of blood, Thor was lying.

"There was something wrong with his rifle, I don't know how this could have happened, he's an experienced shooter, it just went off and… " Northbrook started explaining, but Loki didn't have time for his narration, as he ran towards Thor.

"Alex!" He yelled as he knelt next to him, squeezing his hand.

"Who's Alex?" Thor smiled and then Loki noticed a wound on Thor's thigh, bandaged up yet still bleeding. It appeared his artery had been split open.

"Where the hell is the doctor?!"

"He's lost too much blood…"

"He's dying."

"He doesn't even remember his own name."

"He was calling out for Locke the entire time."

Voices could have been heard around them, but for Loki they were just meaningless background noise.

"Loki! You're here. Finally!" Thor was, despite the injury, smiling. His face was pale, yet his eyes sparkled upon noticing Loki was the one leaning above him.

Loki squeezed his hand, trying to calm him down "Shhh, don't speak, Alex…"

"I waited for an eternity!" Thor said.

"Calm down, you're going to be fine," Loki said, unable to force a smile, as his face turned into a sobbing one very quickly.

"Don't cry, Loki…" was the last thing that came out of Thor's mouth, as his hand became limp in Loki's grasp.

"Hunting accidents. Such a tragedy." Connington shook his head and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your lovely comments, they are really the only thing that pushes me to finish this story.   
> I would like to apologize to the "real" Jon Connington whose name and appearance were a huge inspiration for my character.


	8. Tyler and Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time: present time  
> Location: somewhere in the US  
> Thor is... Tyler, an office worker with a girlfriend and a seceret  
> Loki is... Luke, a mysterious kid with a bike and an evil smile

 

Thor woke up in a slight haze, this is what binge drinking did to a person, he should have learned it by now. He was an adult already, a 25 year old who should have known better but to spend his nights like this. He looked over to the right side of the bed, instinctively, and as many Sunday mornings before, there he was, his usual partner in ‘crime’ – still asleep in a heavenly bliss, his black hair ruffled from the last night’s romp, his arms and legs hogging all the blankets and a wet pool of saliva on the pillow, yes this image made Thor chuckle and instantly forget this headache he might have had.

For no matter how many times he told himself this was the last time, this strange relationship went on for six months now, always following the same pattern. Every Sunday morning, Thor would tell him this was the last time they did it, that he can’t continue this relationship, since he has a girlfriend who’s kind of expecting a marriage proposal soon. And every Saturday evening, he’d hear knocking on his apartment door and disregarding everything he said the week before he’d open it and let this persistent dark haired devil inside.

He wondered if that rainy night was to blame for everything that happened later– the night when his Jeep swayed and hit a boy on his bicycle. Luckily, the boy was fine, but his bike needed minor repairs, which boy insisted Thor should pay for, completely disregarding the fact that he had no lights or reflectors on that night.

Ever since then, the boy pushed himself in Thor’s life, becoming an important part of it, insisting on spending evenings with him, watching movies and drinking beer together. One of those evenings started out with the boy straddling Thor and giving him a passionate kiss and it ended with Thor fucking him into the sofa while he screamed out his name.

He was ashamed afterwards, swearing a thing like this is never ever to be repeated, feeling guilty towards his girlfriend. But every time the boy would come over, he would seemingly forget the promise he had made to himself and they would end up in the bedroom, under the sheets. Even those nights he would go out with Emilia would later finish with him meeting his secret lover, even if it was already late in the night.

 

 

 “Luke, wake up, it’s ten already.”

“Ugh, leave me alone, Ty…” Loki turned to the other side of the bed, away from Thor’s pestering.

“I told you before, I have to be somewhere today.” Thor fidgeted, unable to say where he had to be for it would be too embarrassing in a situation like this – namely, he was invited for a Sunday lunch with his girlfriend Emilia and her family and he couldn’t be late for it just because he had a wild night in with his gay lover.

“Yeah… don’t act like you’re the only one who has a life.” Loki roared.

“Come on, up we go!” Thor pulled out the blankets he was grabbing onto.

“Hey!” Loki sat up, annoyed. He was completely naked and that sight made Thor red in his face.

“Get dressed.” He looked away in embarrassment.

“You act like such a prude. It’s like you’re not the same person that fucked my brains out last night…” Loki had a devious smile on his face as he slowly crawled on all fours in Thor’s direction.

“Don’t do this…” Thor winced as he felt Loki’s hand on his crotch, moving with an intention to slowly unzip his pants.

“Five minutes tops! Don’t worry, you won’t be late for lunch with your future in-laws.” He said it nonchalantly, but with a hint of jealousy towards the end, when his lips curled into a smile that gave away his indecent plan.

“I… I never told you this, have you been reading my messages again?” Thor said with a scorning sound in his voice, but still did nothing to stop him from reaching into his pants. It was a common occurrence, Loki going through his phone, no matter how many times he had warned him not to do so.

“Maybe…” Loki snorted. “Now shut up and give me a sausage for breakfast.”

“Ugh, Luke, don’t be disgusting…” Thor sighed and grabbed onto Loki’s head tightly, now guiding him towards his crotch. He was wondering how could Loki keep his straight face on while spouting such profanities.

Loki took his cock with one hand while holding his balance with another. He gave it a lick from base to tip first and proceeded to take the whole thing into his mouth. Thor closed his eyes, unable to watch the lewd scene. But even though his eyelids were closed, he was always very aware of who did this to him, never mistaking him with Emilia. How could have he – when Emilia’s hair was longer, her lips were softer and the noises she made weren’t deep and raspy grunts, but barely detectable sighs. Lately, he wondered if this was what he preferred to her perfect curvy body and soft skin of a woman. Loki’s body was skinny and his ribs were sticking out, his hands were big and rough and on mornings like this, he had stubble, but none of this seemed to bother Thor.

As he felt his member hit the back of Loki’s throat, his hips instinctively pushed it in even further, as he tangled his fingers in those dark messy locks. Loki grunted in protest, hesitant to give away the control over to Thor. In retaliation, he gave Thor’s balls a nice strong squeeze, which made him shudder.

“Ugh, Luke…” He knew he was close to a release, especially after this last move.

“Mmm…” Loki mumbled as he tried to suck Thor dry.

He couldn’t hold it in much longer, despite the fact he wasn’t pent up or anything, so he just spilled it into Loki’s mouth at once, accompanied with a few low grunts.

“Happy now?” He finally looked down at Loki’s smiling face as the other licked his lips.

“Of course. Sausage and warm milk, just how I like it.”

“Gross!” Thor made a disgusted face and moved away, zipping up his pants. He managed to find the clothes Loki discarded on the floor last night and threw it at him. “Now get dressed!”

“Ugh, fine!” Loki sighed and lazily started putting his clothes on. He wasn’t in a hurry, unlike Thor who still had to take a shower and pick up something presentable to wear and the most important part – he had to prepare himself emotionally to what was about to happen. He had less than three hours left. Still, he patiently waited for Loki to get dressed so he could politely escort him out.

A short peck on the lips as a parting gift, followed by an intense accidental staring contest.

“And Luke…” Thor started, but was interrupted by the younger man who already knew this exchange all too well.

“I know, I know… This is the last time.” He said with a forced smile on his face.

“It would be better, if you didn't come here in the future.” Thor said sternly as Loki silently nodded. Once the door was closed, Loki went to unchain his bike that stood in the hallway of Thor’s building.

“You’re the one who’s coming over, Tyler.” He said to himself with a wicked smile, once he knew Thor could no longer hear him.

 

 

“Honey!” Emilia threw herself around Thor’s neck, she really missed him lately, considering they had less and less time they could spend together. She was a nurse and mostly worked night shifts and he was an office worker who worked from nine to five, so finding a time of day for dates became quite difficult lately. Therefore, she suggested they could move in together, so they could at least spend the evenings by each other’s side. Thor was not really up for it, but he finally agreed to at least meet her family.

They lived in a nice suburban house, Emilia’s parents that is, it seemed like a quiet neighbourhood. It was twenty minutes by car from where Thor lived and the centre of the city, but when he tried to think about the future, he could never imagine himself living one of these suburban lives, with a wife and a brood of children.

Her parents were already there, waiting eagerly to meet the man of her dreams. They seemed like nice people, or at least that’s what they tried to present themselves as. Just like Thor, who cleaned up really nicely once he was in a blazer and when he tucked his hair in a bun.  From the way he looked now, Emilia’s parents would never have suspected he spent the night drinking and having sex with… their son?!

Thor was petrified as he noticed the boy who came down the stairs, the boy Emilia introduced as her younger brother. His hair was still wet from a recent shower and he had bags under his eyes as if he didn’t get much sleep. He looked exactly like the one who was jumping up and down Thor’s cock last night. Was it possible that there was someone who looked exactly like him, and coincidently lived in the same city and had the same name?!

“Hi, I’m Luke, you must be this famous Tyler my sister keeps on telling me about?” Loki extended a hand that was met with a limp response from Thor’s side.

There was no doubt about it, he even sounded the same. And that smile on his face told Thor that Loki knew about this mess, for he didn’t seem a least bit surprised. Knowing him, he was probably enjoying this situation.

Thor clumsily took out the presents he brought for her family – box of swiss chocolates, a bottle of wine and something for her little brother. For he remembered Emilia said she had a brother who was still attending high school and he bought him… a soccer ball! He dreaded the moment in which Loki would burst out in laughter, declaring his hate for soccer, but he was surprised by his reaction.

“Wow! How did you guess? I love balls!” Loki took the present with a smile on his face, looking directly at Thor making him squirm. It was exactly this kind of hidden meaning in Loki’s words Thor disliked the most.

They proceeded to the dining room, Thor trying to avoid looking in Loki’s direction, constantly thinking about the fact that in a way, he could be considered a sexual predator who conducted statutory rape.

 

The meal itself went on in a haze, at least for Thor. The small talk with the family was consisted mostly of them speaking, while Thor nodded his head and tried to smile. The roast Emilia’s mother prepared was good, but he barely managed to eat as his stomach twisted in pain while his mind constantly went on imagining events from last night. He couldn’t forget the way Loki looked when rode him and he hated himself for that.

He couldn’t even look straight ahead because there he was, that vicious boy smiling and looking at him the whole time, looking right through him, as if he was threatening to give away their scandalous secret. He wondered what would have happened to him if the parents found out he fucked both of their children.

“Everything ok, hon?” Emila started noticing something was wrong with Thor. He was unlike his usual cheerful self. The boyfriend she knew and loved was good in social situations like this, this awkward stance just wasn’t natural for him. She smiled gently, trying to encourage him to participate in conversation more.

“Yeah, everything’s great, Em.” He forced a smile, avoiding eye contact with her.

 

“Oh, he’s shy, that’s cute. It’s a scary thing, meeting your partner’s family, Em.” Loki spoke as if Thor wasn’t present in the same room, sitting around the same table.

He gave Loki a deathly glare, while holding tightly onto the cutlery in his hands. He wanted to jump up and reach for the little bastard sitting across from him and ask him what pleasure he got from fucking with him like this in front of everyone.

“Oh, Luke, you know nothing of this! You’re just a kid!” Emilia shot her brother down.

“Now, now, Em, believe it or not, your baby brother’s all grown up now.” The father meddled in. He had a proud smile across his face.

“Ugh, dad!” Loki’s face suddenly reddened.

“Yup! Our baby boy has a girlfriend, did we not tell you of this?” The mother chimed in.

“Wow, who would have thought… Luke, having a girlfriend?!” Emilia was visibly surprised by this information. She always suspected her brother was gay, so this was quite a turn of events.

Thor was glad they were finally having a conversation that didn’t demand him to be active in, yet he suddenly felt more of that sinking feeling in his stomach. He shouldn’t be the one caring for this boy and his affairs. In fact, if he had a girlfriend as well, that meant Thor could eventually walk out of the illicit relationship feeling less guilty for doing so.

“He sometimes spends the night at her place. He says he’s at a friend’s house, but we found some incriminating evidence in his pockets.” Father laughed, not realizing he was only further embarrassing his son who obviously wasn’t up for a conversation like this.

“Dad! Stop!” He jumped off his chair and threw the napkin from his lap onto the table, storming off upstairs into his room, closing the door with a loud bang.

“Teenagers!” Father smiled and looked at Thor, waiting for his approval.

“Darling, I think we might have gone a little bit too far.” Mother wondered.

“It’s just Luke, acting out like always.” Emilia rolled her eyes. It seemed as if these tantrums of his were something she was already used to.

“Do you want me to… go up and speak to him?” Thor suddenly offered, surprising everyone, himself included.

“You?” Emilia was confused.

“I mean… I’m a guy, right?” He tried to come up with an explanation that wouldn’t raise any suspicion. In reality, all he wanted was some private time to clear things up with Loki.

 

 

“Go away!” Loki responded upon hearing the knocking on his door.

“It’s me, open up!” Thor leaned into the door and tried if it was locked. It wasn’t.

“What do you want?” Loki was sitting on the bed, holding his pillow tightly.

Walking into his room, made Thor realize there were so many things about Loki, apart from his relation to Emilia, he didn’t know about. Apparently, he liked his room painted black and he was a Game of Thrones fan, he played a guitar and skateboarded, he knew karate and apparently won some medals for it. And in that moment it all became clear that Loki was still just a kid – an insecure kid who went to high school and lived with his parents in the suburbs. He wasn’t that bold young man he tried to present himself as – with his sexual innuendos and bursting self-confidence.

He moved a pile of clothes that was stocked on the armchair next to Loki’s bed and sat in it with a deep sigh.

“I didn’t tell you you could sit down!” Loki spouted but Thor completely ignored this.

“Why did you do this, Luke?” He looked straight at him.

Loki looked away for a moment, ashamed, giving that pillow a tight squeeze.

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to.”

“Did you know I was her boyfriend this whole time?”

“Um… I… well…” He hesitated.

“Look at me!” Thor raised his voice. “Tell me, did you know I was your sister’s boyfriend?!”

There was something intimidating about Thor, Loki has never before seen him like this.

“Not the whole time.” He finally looked up.

“When we first slept together, did you know it then?”

Loki’s lower lip shivered.

“Yes… but I was already…”

“Fuck!” Thor stood up angrily. “How could you do that to Emilia?! To me?!”

“I… I love you.” That was Loki’s ultimate defence, since he was unable to rationalize the course of his actions.

“You little shit!” Thor jumped to the bed side, grabbing Loki by the collar of his shirt. “You little liar! You made a criminal out of me! You’re a damn high schooler!”

“I’m a senior though…” Loki barely muttered out, but that fact meant nothing to Thor.

“I had sex with a minor! That’s a crime!”

“You also hit me with a car that night, yet I didn’t turn you in. You don’t have to worry, Ty…”

“Jesus! If only I didn’t run into you that night!” Thor finally loosed the grip on Loki’s shirt.

“I didn’t know who you were that time. Later, as I came over to watch movies at your place, I connected the dots. I saw her picture on your phone. But it was too late, I was already in love with you.” Loki started explaining.

“Stop it, Luke… I don’t want to hear it.”

“Wait! You have to hear this! I love you!” Loki jumped after him, not wanting him to leave the room.

“Don’t lie to me, I heard loud and clear your parents talking about you having a girlfriend.” Thor lashed out at him.

“I… I don’t! They were talking about you! They just didn’t know that…” He reached for Thor’s upper arm, but his hand was shoved away.

“We’re over. I know I told you this a thousand times before, but this time I mean it. You’re her brother. And you’re still just a kid. I can’t do this…” Thor was barely keeping himself from crying.

“Wait! Tyler!” He once again reached for him. “At least a kiss goodbye, as always.”

“That was never a kiss goodbye.” Thor admitted. “It was a promise we’ll meet again. And I can't give you that anymore.”

Loki’s request was denied and all he heard were Thor’s steps going down the stairs, moving further away from him.

 

 

 

Downstairs he was met with a worried Emilia.

“Did you talk to him, hon?”

“Um… yeah… he’ll be fine, he’s just a kid you should give him some space.” He forced a smile.

“Are you ok? You look a bit pale.” She noticed his distress.

“I’m… I’m not feeling so well. Do you think your folks will mind if I leave?” Thor didn’t know how he managed to speak these words out so calmly.

“No, it’s ok, it’s been a weird day, I guess… Want me to drive you home?”

“I can manage myself, thanks.”

Once he was out in the driveway, he couldn’t but notice the movements of the curtains on one of the windows on the first floor of the house. He knew who was hiding there, but he didn’t have the strength to look up, not now when he called it quits once and for all.

“Wait, hon, you forgot your kiss!” Emilia ran after him as he was getting ready to get into his Jeep.

He wasn’t up for a kiss, not now, not with her, so he just gave her an awkward hug, trying to avoid kissing, especially since Loki was watching everything. Although he was angry at the young man, he didn’t want to force him look at a scene like this.

 

 

A phone call came later that afternoon, one that Emilia picked up. They told her Thor’s had an accident on his way home and how he was in a coma at the local hospital. The whole family rushed to his side, including Loki who was silent during the whole ride.

Everyone was comforting Emilia, nobody paid attention to Loki, for why would they. He only met Thor this afternoon, why should he really be affected by this tragedy?

Finally, he managed to sneak out to the intensive care unit and find the room where Thor was. He could see him through the glass, as his breathing was forced artificially and how his heart beat was controlled by the machines. He wanted to go over to him, to hold his hand and tell him everything is going to be all right and how there’s no chance in hell he’ll ever leave his side. If Thor wanted him to leave, he would have to wake up and tell it himself.

_Come back, it’s time!_

Loki turned around, but there was no one standing next to him.

_Come home!_

There was some strange feeling in the air as this voice called out to him.

_Thor! Loki!_

“Mother?” Loki turned around, finally recognizing the voice. But it wasn’t his mother in this life, for she was with Emilia in the waiting room. This was his mother back from Asgard!

A sharp pain in his brain made him lose his balance. He stumbled across the hospital corridors, trying to find his way out, trying to follow his mother’s voice. It was time to go back home, he just didn’t know how. Unable to walk any further, he collapsed onto the ground, writhing in pain. There were bright lights everywhere around him and he finally felt happiness because he knew, after all these years, he was going home.


	9. Loki

 

Darkness, he was engulfed by it, floating in it, being drawn into the bottomless pit without a ray of light in sight. He wasn’t sure if he was falling down or going up, but there was no firm ground around him, just this vast dark space. It was one of those moments where a person would wish they were back  home, surrounded by their loved ones, but he wasn’t sure if he had a home or people he cared about. He couldn’t even recall his own name, no matter how hard he tried, he just knew he wanted to get out of this strange place as soon as possible.

It felt like being stabbed with thousands of spears right through the chest, once the air has started crawling back into his lungs slowly. His eyes were open, but he couldn’t move, not yet, not until he’s drawn his first breath, after which everything felt easier. And suddenly, the space around him wasn’t as dark as moments before, his eyes could finally see blurry surfaces of what seemed to be… a room? And that place didn’t feel strange and cold, it felt like a place he belonged in.

Seeing the familiar ceiling above him felt oddly reassuring, the ornaments have seemed so familiar. Too familiar maybe? Was it possible? Was that his room?

The voices around him were first only incoherent murmurs but as time passed by they were getting clearer. Why was everyone in such an uproar… was it because of him? Did he do something wrong? Again? Probably, judging by his past actions and mischiefs. But what was it, he couldn’t remember, no, not yet.

Oh…

A sudden realisation.

Of course.

Guess everyone knew it by now, so much about keeping it between the four of them.

No wonder waking up felt so difficult, not after everything that happened recently. He should have just stayed asleep, right? But not even sleeping felt that comfortable, not after those horrible dreams he’s had lately. Or was it all one dream… an endless nightmare that haunted him all night. Or was it longer?

Definitely longer.

He started rewinding the pictures in his head, images of other people’s lives that seemed too familiar as if he has lived through them himself. It was always the same, beginning with being born into the cruel world, living without a real purpose in life, despairing and dying. Darkness all around. Yet sometimes, a ray of light would appear before him, guiding him through, showing him the right way – and that light was… Thor?

Loki jumped up in his bed, face pale as if he had seen a ghost. There were people around him, trying to calm him down, yet he paid no attention to any of them, the only one on his mind was his brother, the one who always managed to slip away from him, just when he thought they could be happy together.

He was relieved this constant nightmare was over, but there was a new problem on the horizon… where was Thor?

The first person he became aware of was his mother, her gentle hands gripping his sweaty palms, her caresses on his pale cheeks, her gentle words sounding so comforting…

“My baby! Loki! You’re back! Finally!” She sat on the bed next to him hugging him, kissing him, not letting go.

“Mother?” He asked hesitantly as if he wanted to make sure that was really her, that she wasn’t going to turn out to be just a fragment of yet another nightmare.

“Oh, honey, I missed you so much.” She cradled him in her arms, unable to contain her happiness. “You were gone too long.”

“Too long?” Loki wondered and then it came to him. One thousand years. That’s how long it was supposed to last. This exile. Has it really been that long?

He felt relieved now that he was able to reunite with his mother, the soothing sensation of safety overwhelming him. Still, there was something missing… He was eager to find out this information, but too afraid to ask. How could he just blurt it out when that was the reason he was in this position in the first place? Yet, not knowing it was just too painful and the question couldn’t be held inside of him any longer.

“What about… Thor?” He asked hesitantly.

Frigga gasped, her hands clenching, her lips shaking, eyes closing. “He… he’s still in a deep slumber.”

Loki felt his stomach turn. The last thing he remembered was him watching Thor in that hospital when he himself had some kind of a seizure and ended up waking up back in Asgard. If the time of the sentence was up, shouldn’t Thor be waking up as well?!

“It might take a while, it doesn’t have to happen at the same time.” Frigga tried to explain it, unsure if she was comforting herself or Loki with that statement.

“But if the thousand years are up… shouldn’t we both wake up right away?” He asked.

“It might not be like that. He may take some time. Guess you were stronger this time.” She smiled gently, placing her hand on his cheek.

“Oh, mother! When was I ever stronger than Thor?” Loki almost snickered at her statement.

“Maybe your mind was more determined to come back.” She shrugged. “But I have no doubt your brother will join us soon, we just have to have faith.”

“I…” Loki started shyly, unsure of the reaction it could provoke. “If I could see him, maybe… in his current state?” His big green eyes pierced right through Frigga. He gave her a look similar to when he was a mischievous child begging for another story before bedtime or five more minutes of playing outside.

“Loki…” She started, but the response was interrupted by an ominous presence lingering at the doors.

“Loki!” A stern voice called out, causing Loki’s whole body to shiver.

He took a deep breath and gulped once before answering. “Father?”

Odin took another step into Loki’s chambers, hesitantly at first, his progress slow, causing everything around him to stop.

“I’m glad to see you again, my son.” He said, his voice much calmer than the last time Loki had heard him speak.

Loki didn’t really know what to say to that, so he just stayed silent, despite having a thousand replies prepared in head.

“I realize now, I might have been too strict with you, but I hope this cruel punishment has helped you see the right way.” He sighed, taking another step closer to Loki.

Frigga sensed her son’s frustration, so she grabbed his hand quickly, trying to stop him from saying or doing anything foolish. But instead of jumping up, kicking and screaming, cursing his father and his decisions, he managed to keep his calm.

“Yes.” He said, turning his head, looking straight into Odin’s eye. “I have learned my lesson and realized few things.”

“Good.” Odin produced something close to a smile. “I am proud of you, son.”

Loki nodded, his fingernails digging deep into the skin of Frigga’s hand, but his expression remained unaffected.

“When you regain your strength, we will talk more about everything. I will leave you to rest now.” He said and left just as suddenly as he appeared.

“You’ve done good.” Frigga smiled, proud how her son has handled this situation.

“It wasn’t easy…” He sighed.

“I know… Now about your question earlier. I  must warn you, there’s always a guard standing right outside Thor’s chambers, just as there was one located here, while you were in slumber.”

“Oh…” Loki got it. She didn’t need to explain it any further, of course there were guards looking over them, protecting them not from intruders, but from each other. “So there is no way I could get to see my brother.”

“No way for Loki, no.” She smiled, relying on her son’s with to figure out the rest.

“I see.” He smirked. “Thank you mother.”

“I will leave you now, darling. We have all the time in the world to make up for what we’ve lost.” She planted a gentle kiss onto his forehead. “I have ordered a bath be prepared for you, guessing you might want one. After that, dinner will be delivered to your room.”

He didn’t really feel hungry, as he just recently had that roast Luke’s mom has made and strangely he felt full from it, but a bath did really seem like a good idea.

After he felt refreshed and slipped into some new clothing, he came to a conclusion that nothing on Asgard has changed that drastically since then. The fashion was perhaps a bit more metallic, that’s all. As well as the armour the Einherjar were now wearing. The horns were definitely bit sharper than he remembered.

He closed his eyes and concentrated, hoping his skills didn’t get rusty during this long period of time he didn’t use them. He looked at the mirror, seeing the face of a stranger, modelled from his memory and borrowing features from the Einherjar he remembered. Good, he thought. The magic was still within him.

 

“Oh, is it time already?” The guard was a bit confused upon learning of the change.

“Yes. Guess time just flies when you’re having fun, huh?” The new guard said, still adjusting to his tight suit.

“Problem there, buddy?”

“Yeah, you know… Too big.” He shrugged.

Once he was all alone, he left a projection of the guard in front of the door, while he himself slipped into the room, turning back to his original body, yet still dressed as a guard.

He looked around the chambers, everything looked just as it did the last time he was here, it even smelled the same. This familiar strong odour of ozone that reminded him of…

THOR!

He was in his bed, appearing to be asleep. But his chest wasn’t moving. Loki wondered if this is what he would look like if he died – displayed on the hearse and remembered how he has lost Thor to death before and how unbearably painful that was each time it happened.

It seemed too real, made him almost unable to come any closer. He feared his brother might be really dead.

Once he has managed to come closer, he noticed a healthy colour in Thor’s cheeks. He was alive, only in such a deep slumber that he was unable to process the world around him, trapped between the realms as if he was one of those bugs trapped in amber.

“Brother?” Loki asked as he came at a distance where he could touch Thor’s hand. It was cold. He didn’t respond to his fingers being squeezed.

“Thor?” He called his name, but in vain. “Can you hear me?”

But Thor just slept there, motionless, his red cape serving as a blanket.

“Come back to me…” Loki started. “…for I realise now how great my love for you is. It’s a shame that I needed a thousand years to figure out what you’ve known from the start, but I love you, brother. I  might have not shown it before, for I was ashamed of these feelings…” He paused, trying not to cry.

“But I’m ready now. To fight for it. For you. For us… I need you awake so we can fight for it together.” He kneeled on the floor next to Thor’s bed, still holding his hand and leaning his head on the mattress. “Come back!”

He was interrupted when he heard a voice outside, apparently the real change of guard has come, asking his projection something, so he hurried back, just in time, turning around one more, checking on Thor.

 

 

As he slowly adjusted to his new life, Loki started slipping into his old habits quickly – from spending time in library, to taking walks in the garden and practicing magic. He tried to avoid contacts with others, who were curious about his and his brother’s long absence from Asgard, especially wondering why Thor didn’t return with him.

It was too painful to answer with a lie, while knowing the truth, as each day passed with no sign of Thor coming back. He would sometimes visit him secretly in his room, but there was no change, causing not only Loki, but Frigga and Odin to worry greatly.

“Maybe he’s not ready to leave his body in that world.” Frigga tried to guess.

“Maybe he can’t.” Loki suggested, unsure if he should tell his mother he has actually met Thor in their last life together.

Yet, Frigga was nothing like Odin, she might have not approved of their relationship completely, but she was also not firmly against it. Once her sons were banished, it didn’t mean she didn’t check up on them every once in a while through Heimdall. She knew exactly where they were during their times on Midgard.

“You mean, if ‘Tyler’ is in an artificial coma, perhaps Thor’s still trapped and can’t come back because of it?” She suggested, causing Loki to gasp.

“I… You… You know about this?”

“I’m your mother, I was worried.”

“So… you have been watching us?” Loki was suddenly embarrassed.

“Well, sometimes, I… I missed you so greatly. I had to take a peek from time to time.” She admitted, feeling a bit guilty for spying on them.

“Ugh, I hope my suffering as a mortal has been amusing to spectate.” He rolled his eyes.

“Loki, honey… I’m sorry. It has been horrible watching my children suffer like that.”

“Of course it was horrible! I died more than thirty times!” Loki was upset, his memories resurfacing. “Thor and I met only on few of those occasions and even then… we were always forcibly separated. ” He said angrily.

“I know… “ She said compassionately, a sad expression on her face.

“So… I guess you know then… That we… That father’s punishment didn’t erase the feelings…” His face was flushed.

“I don’t judge you Loki. Not at all.” She tried to make him feel better. “Come here!” She opened up her arms for an embrace, but all she got from her son was a squeezing of his hand, for he didn’t feel much like hugging his mommy after she’s basically admitted she’s seen him fuck his brother.

“If you could go back somehow, unbeknown to your father and see what has been happening on Midgard…” She suggested.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He promised.

Heimdall proved to be of much use in his mission, for the watcher and Loki both wanted Thor’s safe return home. Neither of them talked about the nature of the relationship between the brothers, pretending there was nothing strange about it, yet both still knowing the truth.

“I’m doing this for the sake of your brother, who is a dear friend of mine.” Heimdall just had to remind him this was not a personal favour to Loki.

“Whatever. Just send me there already.” Loki rolled his eyes, this person definitely not being one of those he had missed during his exile.

 

 

Soon, he has found himself in a familiar place, city in the middle of US, where Tyler and Luke once lived. This was the first time in a long time he has come down to Midgard as his real self and not just a reincarnation in a human body. He was no longer an angsty teenager, but a deeply tormented creature from another world, grieving for his brother.

He remembered where the hospital was and elevator to which floor he had to take if he wanted to see ‘Tyler’. It wasn’t that long since he last walked these hallways as someone else, yet the feelings in his heart were the same. Thor was just where he left him, still unconscious, the only difference the amount of flowers, balloons and cards stacked up in his room.

“Idiots! As if he’ll wake up thanks to this.” Loki murmured to himself as he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

He approached the bed and the person in it, it didn’t matter Thor or Tyler, he knew that was the person he loved. He took him by the hand, but the vitals were unchanged by this touch.

“I’m sorry, but this is the only way I can get you back.” He was nervous and looked away for a moment, something catching his eye.

 “Get well soon my love! You are the only hope I still have left in this world, after losing my brother. Wake up and bring happiness into our lives again. Love, Emilia.” Loki read out loud one of the cards on his cabinet. “So, I ended up dying that day?” He wondered as he figured only Emilia would be daft enough to write a card to a person in a coma.

He remembered not liking her very much even when they were siblings, a feeling now multiplied by hundred.

“Tyler didn’t love you anyway!” He argued with the card.

The room was awfully quiet except for the beeping of Tyler’s heart rate on the monitor and the sound of the respirator forcing him to breathe.

“I have to do this, brother.” Loki whispered as he placed a featherlike kiss on his forehead and headed to the cords. Plugging them out was difficult for it meant this person was about to die, yet it also meant Thor might come back to life back on Asgard.

Suddenly, the room was filled with nurses and technicians, doctor joined them as well, all of them trying to revive Tyler’s body, bring him back to life, as Loki stood there and watched the commotion, unnoticed by anyone.

“Time of death 14:03” The doctor finally proclaimed, stopping any further action.

“14:03” Loki repeated determined to remember the time when he got his brother back.


	10. Thor

There were voices coming from Thor’s room when Loki passed next to it in the hallway, which was most likely a good sign. Yet he didn’t feel brave enough to walk in there, not when there was a possibility of Odin being present as well. He just lingered outside, trying to see if Thor’s voice was one of them. Even after all this time, the sound of his voice he would recognize in a heartbeat.

When he heard the steps of someone coming out of the room, he disappeared under a spell, just in time to hide himself from being seen by the healer who walked out of Thor’s chambers with his mother.

“We’ll see what the time will bring, but we should hope for the best.” The healer uttered words that made Loki’s heart clench and thousand questions appear in his mind.

Did Thor not wake up? What was wrong? Is he left damaged somehow? – were only some of them and the frightened expression of Frigga’s face didn’t help one bit.

“Thank you for all you have done.” Frigga answered and saw the healer leave, then turned around to where Loki was standing. “You can show yourself, son.”

He reappeared, and she threw herself in his embrace, thanking for bringing Thor back. It made it easier around his heart, knowing his brother has come to his senses.

“But it’s not perfect. There are some negative effects left on his mind.” She said worriedly. “He seems to be stuck in a time way before all of this happening.”

“What do you mean, mother?”

“He doesn’t remember any of the days on Midgrad, nor the reasons for ending up there.” She tried to hint at how scarce Thor’s memories were.

“So… he doesn’t remember me?” Loki’s face was paler than usual.

“He remembers his brother, Loki.”

“But just a brother?” His voice was shaking.

“Just a brother.” She shook her head, knowing deep inside she should be thankful for such a turn of events, yet deeply hurt by the look on her son’s face.

“I see… that’s fine. As long as he’s with us, right?” Loki shrugged, trying to keep his calm, biting his lower lip.

Frigga looked at him gently, feeling the urge to comfort him. “Do you wish to see him?”

He didn’t hesitate a moment before uttering a loud “Yes! Of course! May I?”

“Odin has already been to his side, so you may go to him with no fear.” She assured him.

 

Despite the crushing news he has just heard, Loki displayed a shy smile of excitement. At last, he was about to see his brother. Not Thomas or Theodore or Tyler, but Thor, the real Thor.

“Brother!” He yelled, loud and obnoxious as ever, yet it was too good to hear his old self again.

Thor stood up, holding a half-finished portion of ribs in his hands, discarding them as soon as he spotted his brother in the doorway.

“Come here, baby bro!” He encouraged Loki, expecting the other would rush to him.

Loki looked around hesitantly, just to make sure if Odin wouldn’t pop up from somewhere unexpectedly, and once he was sure there was no unwanted company, he hesitantly walked to his brother.

“Hey, you!” He tried to sound relaxed, yet it came out as everything but.

“Wow! You could at least pretend you’re happy to see me.” Thor feigned to be offended as he pulled Loki into his arms, messing around with his hair. Just like he did when they were younger, before the time when feelings of a different kind started growing inside of them.

“I am happy, brother.” Loki barely managed to answer under the pressure of Thor’s arms. Oh, how good of a feeling it was, being trapped in his embrace, feeling his hot breath and a lively heartbeat underneath his warm chest.  In the end, it was the familiar smell of Thor’s body that made Loki finally push him away, afraid he might do or say something inappropriate if he was to stay like this a moment longer.

He had to remind himself that Thor’s state of mind was in a time when his favourite activities included hunting and fighting his friends for practice, not giving head to his brother and fucking him senseless into the mattress. He felt his cheeks blushing and that was extremely uncomfortable.

“I am happy.” He repeated it and forced a smile.

“Your warm welcome suggests otherwise.” Thor frowned disappointed by his brother’s reluctance to greet him properly.

Loki felt tears gathering in corners of his eyes, unable to say anything but to stare at the image before him. Thor, happy and healthy as ever has finally returned to him yet had no recollection of the torment they have went through this last millennium.

“What is it? I wiped my hands off before I touched you, calm down.” Thor rolled his eyes.

“Thor…” He started, barely sustaining his tears by this point. “I’m glad your back.” He was proud at how calm and collected he managed to stay so far.

“Yeah, mother says you’ve been gone as well. I had no idea we’ve been missing for such a long time, we probably fell under one of those sleeping spells on our last trip to the forest.”

“Thor… is our trip to the forest the last thing you remember?”

“Pretty much so, yeah… Why?”

Loki sighed. The last memory of his brother was one from more innocent times, back when they travelled together through realms, fighting side by side, being nothing but brothers, both in name and in arms. Sure, Loki has felt differently even back then, something stirring inside of him, his love and admiration for his brother turning wicked and impure, yet he didn’t act upon it, still convinced they were related by blood.

His brain went into an overdrive – does this mean Thor still thinks they are biological brothers? If his state of mind is one from back then, than sure, it must be so.

“Loki?!” Thor’s voice interrupted him and his arm on his sleeve surprised him, causing Loki to jump back in fear, clutching the place where Thor has touched as if he had burned it.

“What has gotten into you, brother?!” Thor continued. “You seem so… weird. I don’t remember you like this.”

“Shut up, Thor! Clearly, you don’t remember anything. Don’t act like you know me!” He yelled and left the room unable to take this torture any further. Being forgotten and erased from Thor’s mind felt worse than being dead, because at least, if he were dead, Thor would mourn him and cry after him. He closed himself into his chambers, and sat on his bed, unable to keep his appearances any longer. The tears were finally allowed to stroll down his cheeks, followed by loud sobs as he threw his body back into the mattress.

“Fuck this shit!”

 

He wanted to calm himself down, but it was somehow impossible, at least until he discovered how soothing it felt once his hand slid down his own body, ending up under his breeches. He’s been pent up, for ever since his return, his carnal desires and basic needs had been neglected. It seemed pointless without Thor so he decided to wait for his return, yet now when Thor was back, it was obvious he was not going to get any from him. There were plenty of new and interesting looking people of both genders in Asgard who would have been more than happy to become Loki’s bed partners, but he had no such desires. He needed Thor and in his absence, his own hand had to take over his role. 

His imagination was always very vivid, so he had no problem imagining his brother hovering over him, stroking his member eagerly as his body rocked beneath him. He spread his legs as wide as he could, making space for imaginary Thor to lean in comfortably.

“Yes, Thor, just like that!” He moaned out in the middle of it, his pace quickening. “Give it to me, Thor!” And in that moment he could swear he sensed Thor’s blonde locks touching his face.

The room was filled with his desperate panting and the slick sound his member produced when being rubbed thoroughly.

“Ah! Thor!”

Luckily for Loki, no one passed by his chambers in that moment, for the isolation of the space would have been put on a dangerous test.

As he neared his release, he felt the familiar tingling in his balls as his body contracted in pleasure, splurting his pent up juice all over his hands and stomach, each additional pump bringing out more of that sticky whiteness out of his twitching cock.

“Ugh… Thor… I love you…” He blurted out as he finally felt used up, ready to calm down. His mind was still in a haze yet he was very well aware of the words he had just uttered.

“Shit!” He was angry at himself and the fact he had become so weak.

 

 

 

Thor tried to get his old life back – slowly, but successfully. He started training again, riding, wielding his Hammer, getting drunk with his friends… Everything seemed so right once again, as if he was never gone. The only thing missing to complete this picture was his brother’s presence, but Loki refused to be involved in any of these activities, cooped up in his room or in the library, where he has spent most of his days, reading history books, particularly those from Midgard.

“Yeah, the plague!” He hissed upon reaching to that part of the history. “Tell me about it, I fucking died from it once.” He shut the book down in anger.

Each time he would get invited to participate in any kind of socialization that included Thor, he declined politely, making up another urgent matter he had to attend.  This went on for weeks, the distance between them growing, making Odin feel at peace, seeing his method finally reap some fruit.

He decided to keep Thor in conviction he was under a spell the whole time of his absence, afraid the truth about banishment would only draw other questions to light – such as WHY?, which would result with Thor finding out the truth and that was not an option.

It enraged Loki that he had to, not only cope with a thousand years’ of misfortune alive in his memories but also the punishment in the form of losing his lover, while Thor basked in innocence and lived a happy life of ignorance.

Sometimes he would catch a glimpse of Thor training in the yard, shirtless and sweaty under the bright sun and he would wonder which feeling was prevailing – love or jealousy.

He wondered if Thor’s memories would ever return and if so, how would he react to all of them keeping these secrets from him? As much as he wanted it to happen, he feared it more as days passed by, for every day of Thor’s blissful ignorance meant another day of lies.

 

Besides running into each other in the hallway occasionally and obligatory meetings during family dinners, there was almost no contact between the brothers. One of these times when they happened to be at the same time at the same place, Thor stopped Loki, wanting to talk to him. Loki has warned him he didn’t have much time for his whims, yet he decided to stay and listen to what Thor had to stay.

“Loki, I know…  The reason behind your strange behaviour. I know the truth.” He said calmly.

Loki felt weak in his knees… He couldn’t have been referring to… And if he was, how could he have such a calm expression on his face. Wasn’t he bothered by it? Did it mean nothing to him?

“It doesn’t change anything between us, you know that? You knew that even before all of this happened.” Thor continued to talk, each word like a punch to Loki’s gut.

“It changes everything.” Loki was starting to get upset, feeling the uncontrollable urge to kick Thor into his shin.

“Not to me. You’ll always be my brother, even though we’re not connected by blood.” Thor smiled gently.

Of course, he was talking about the whole adoption thing… Somebody seemed to have told him the truth about it, finally.  Loki felt stupid for not realizing this sooner, a huge stone falling from his chest.

“Anyway, Thor… We’ve been through this already. Your amnesia really sucks.”

“I’m sorry. They say it’s because I’ve spent few days in some kind of a coma. That I was trapped between the worlds and that it’s unlikely the things I’ve lost during that time would ever return to me.” Thor sighed, scratching his head.

“So, the only difference now is that you have an official story to justify your stupidity.” Loki sneered.

“There you go. I missed this.” Thor smiled, his pearly white teeth shining brightly.

“Shouldn’t you be offended? I just called you stupid. You know, Thor, that’s kind of an insult here.”

“I’m so glad you said that.” Thor put his arm around Loki, squeezing him tightly. “You’re acting just like before. Rude and offensive. Just like the bro I know.”

Loki couldn’t wait to free himself of this intrusive grasp. Just when he got used to keeping their distance, Thor had to ruin everything with his displays of brotherly affection.

“Get off me, oaf!”

“Fine! I just… I just want us to go back to the way we were. I feel like I’ve been losing you lately and I don’t like it.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Loki murmured to himself, ready to leave.

“Wait!”

“What is it?” Loki gritted out through his teeth, his patience level lower by second.

“I’m going to Vanaheim in a week. I was wondering if you’d want to come with me?”

“I can’t. I’ll be busy.”

“Ok, we can postpone it. Two weeks?”

“I said I’ll be busy, I can’t come with you!” Loki snapped, tired of Thor’s pestering.

“So… when it comes to spending time with me, you’ll be indefinitely busy? Forever?”

“Probably.” Loki looked at the ground, not wanting to face all of the emotions visible on Thor’s face.

“Just tell me what I have done, so I can apologize and we can get it over with!” Thor wanted to show Loki he could raise his voice as well.

“Nothing. You haven’t done a thing and that is what pains me the most!”

“Loki!” Thor shoved him into the wall, trapping him between the cold stone and his warm body. “Look at me!” He cupped his face, forcing eye contact. “Forgive me! Please forgive me!” He begged.

“What’s the point of it if you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for?” Loki spat, trying to free himself of the grasp, unsuccessfully. Despite of spending a thousand years in a deep slumber, Thor returned to his daily trainings instantly, his biceps not losing any of their strength, while Loki’s rotted away in the library.

“For everything! For every injustice I have brought upon you from the moment you were born till now! I’m sorry!” He yelled, spitting all over Loki’s face.

“Ugh, fine! Whatever, just get off me!” Loki squirmed.

“Tell me you forgive me!” Thor was not backing down.

“I forgive you. Ok? You’re forgiven.” Loki finally managed to say it, unsure if he actually meant it.

“Thank you, brother.” He released Loki from his grip. “Now will you come with me to Vanaheim?”

“Again with this…”

“Please, brother!”

“Ask father. Ask Odin if your brother can accompany you on this journey and if he allows it, I promise I will come with you.” Loki said with a sad smile, already sure of the answer their father is going to provide.

“It’s a deal!” Thor said cheerfully, not suspecting anything. “I’ll go to father this instance; you better pack and cancel all of your prearranged plans.” Thor winked and disappeared cheerfully in the dark of the hallway.

“Tsk… foolish Thor.” Loki said to himself, wondering what it would be like to be in his brother's place, to be the one who has no recollection of these past events.


	11. Odin

“No!”

It was as simple as that, despite the whole presentation of how he’d use his brother’s help on this quest, the first journey after he has returned to Asgard and how, due to his recent ‘medical problems’ he should be accompanied by someone – and who better but his most loyal companion Loki.

“Why not, we’ve been to hundreds of those journeys before.” Thor said it not realising it only added fuel to the fire.

“Thor, I said no!” Odin grumbled, annoyed by his son. As much as he missed him when he was absent, having him back proved to be just as challenging as ever.

“I’m a grown man! I can go wherever I want without the permission of my father.”

“I never said you couldn’t go, just that your brother can’t come with you!”

“Why?!” Thor wanted to know.

“He is unwell, he isn’t ready for a journey like this, not after what he’s been through.”

“I’ve been through the same thing. We’re fine.”

“It’s different with Loki. He is weaker than you and needs more time to recover. Now go away before I throw you out of this room myself. Take one of your friends with you…  Take Hogun! He’s from Vanaheim…”

Thor frowned, forgetting that Odin wasn’t Frigga and that making a puppy face wouldn’t get him far with his father. Once Odin has decided on something, he was determined to keep it that way, hating when others questioned his choices.

“Is it because he’s not my brother by blood? Is this why you’re acting like this? Because if it is…”

“Silence, Thor!” Odin squirmed on his high pedestal, uneasy where this conversation was going, for Thor’s guess was too close to truth. “Even though you don’t share blood, you should remember Loki is your brother and that’s what he’ll be as long as you both live! A brother!” He tried to remind Thor of this as much as he could. He feared, now that Thor knew they weren’t related, he might start developing some feelings of a different kind. Again. And this time, he was adamant to stop it before happening than dealing with the consequences.

 

 

After a conversation with Thor, a time for a long awaited talk that has been promised to Loki has come. As he walked into the throne room, surprised by how empty it looked with only their father in it, no guards, no servants, just the all-father sitting on his throne judging away everyone and everything.

“You’ve summoned me here, father.” Loki lowered himself on one knee, waiting to be ordered to stand up.

Once he stood before Odin, he couldn’t but to recall their last encounter in this hall. How he silently obeyed his orders while Thor fought for their love. He wondered if he would do differently today, if their roles would be reversed, Thor denying their love and Loki proclaiming it to the world, shouting on top of his lungs. But what was the point of it now, when Thor had no recollection of such liaison ever existing?

“My son…” Odin started, clearing his throat. “The punishment I have bestowed upon you has been mine to endure as well.”

_Yeah sure… while we rotted away in Midgard, you ate your golden apples, basking in the sunlight. Hypocrite.  –_ Loki thought.

“For I have given my sons away.”

_You threw us out._

“My precious children.”

_I’m adopted anyway, not really yours._

“I have punished myself as well, for being a bad parent, unable to see what was under my nose.”

_Shut up._

“I hope you’ll be able to forgive me, for I have forgiven you.”

_Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!_

“All I need from you now is to tell me if your brother is still in your thoughts, in a manner he should never be there?”

_Of course. He’s always there, he’ll be there forever._

“Loki?!”

Loki looked up at his father.

“I assure you, all-father, all such thoughts have left my mind a long time ago. A passing whim is what it was. A mistake I regret.” He said.

Odin breathed out loudly, feeling a ton lighter.

“Good.”

“May I be dismissed now, father?”

“Just one last thing, Loki. About your trip to Vanaheim…”

“I don’t wish to go there, it’s Thor’s stupid idea, I have no desire to leap into that realm, let alone with Thor.”

_I want to go there because there was where we finally acted upon our feelings twelve hundred years ago. I want to go there with him and see if he remembers it._

Loki barely managed to shut his inner voice down. All those words in his head, making it hard to concentrate.

“Wonderful! You may leave now, son.”

Loki politely bowed on his way out, trying not to stumble and reveal his sudden disability to walk straight. His mind was filled with thoughts of going back to the throne room, revealing the true colours of his heart, spilling the truth to Odin, whether he liked it or not, but he knew it was impossible.

He shut the door of his chambers behind himself and threw his shaking body on the king size bed in the middle of the room, ruffling up the emerald sheets he slept upon. His hands went to his breeches, searching for a part that ached the most. He pulled out his cock, already swollen. This feeling was killing him, the object of his affection only few feet away, under the same roof, yet more distant than ever.

Thoughts of Thor overwhelmed his mind… The way his Thor moved on the training ground, swift and dominant as ever, wielding his hammer, his chest exposed, muscles visible, sweat dripping, hair swaying in the wind. He imagined that big and strong body towering over him, pushing him down and taking him with raw force.

Thoughts such as this became Loki’s everyday routine by now. He’d lock himself up in his room and pretend he was making love to Thor, passionately, deeply, lovingly… It wasn’t enough to calm him down but it was the most he could get right now.

When he was done with it, he looked at the semen on his hands with disgust. He was repulsed even as he wiped it off and went to clean himself up in the bathroom. The creature with dishevelled hair and blushed cheeks that was watching him from the mirror was too much too look at. One swift motion of the hand was enough to break the mirror in thousand pieces yet it didn’t make it better.

“Enough of this already!” He yelled at himself and decided to end this torture once and for all.

 

 

 


	12. Frigga

“Mother!”

He startled Frigga upon entering her chambers. She was practicing her magic, the room still shining brightly as silver sparks fell from the air, disappearing before reaching the floor. Loki remembered how he used to spend his afternoons joining her in this practice, how much he has learnt from her and how she probably missed his presence for the last thousand years.

“What is it my love?” She was worried, seeing her son this distressed. Yet, ever since he came back to her, this was the only state he was in.

“I need your help!” He said, coming closer, his expression anxious and dishevelled.

“How can I help you, darling?”  

He didn’t answer her with words, but looked at her desperately, his eyes hiding the answer.

“No, honey… No!” She shook her head.

“Please!”

“Loki, no! I cannot do this to you.” She said firmly. For days now, she has expected him to come to her with this request, knowing it will cross his mind without a doubt. And she was prepared for it, prepared to refuse him, to convince him things were not as dire to require such drastic measures.

“Mother, you have to. This is ruining my life! I can’t go on like this. Without him! I can’t live without him!” His voice whimpered, hands gesturing out his desperation.

“How would forgetting him make it any better? You will lose not only the painful memories but the good times you have shared together as well!”

“There weren’t much of those in the first place.” Loki remembered he has spent most of the times denying his feelings and turning Thor down, caving in only sometimes and when he was unable to control his desires.

“It is too cruel!”

“Please! I don’t ask him to disappear completely, just how I have in his mind. If you could bring me to the same point in time where he is trapped, erase everything after that… So both of us can have a clean start, unbothered by the past.”

“Loki, I…” She proceeded to caress his face, but he dodged her touch.

“If you refuse to do it, I will try the spell myself.”

“You can’t do that, it is too dangerous, you’re not skilled enough.” She was getting more and more upset. “Your magic is not on that level, especially after you haven’t practiced it for centuries.”

“I know. That’s why I’m asking you to do it.” It was a rare moment, Loki admitting he wasn’t quite skilled at something.

“And if I refuse, you threaten to do the magic yourself, risking all of the memories you have ever made to fade into oblivion?!”

“That’s right, mother. I’m that desperate.” He said quietly.

“Don’t rush into this Loki.”

“Oh, I’m not rushing into it, I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, it’s only now that I’ve reached the point of being sure of it!”

“If your brother’s memories return…” She started but was interrupted by Loki.

“No… they won’t. Back then, on Midgard, I failed to see the pattern. As years went by and we lived and died in our human lives, his memories of me have been… diminishing. First time we’ve met he has been the one pursuing me, while I initially resisted. Meaning his unconsciousness was still filled with me. By the time of our last meeting, I was the one feeling it strongly while he kept on fighting his urges, almost rejecting me! In those thousand years, his love for me has vaporized while mine only grew stronger, up to the point it is choking me up, killing me from the inside!”

He clenched his chest and looked at Frigga desperately. “And this is why I have to get rid of it, mother! I cannot bear to live in a world where he doesn’t love me. In a world where I carry nothing but burning desire for him, he sees me as a brother and this notion is making me sick. So I beg of you, give me the same pair of eyes, one that will not be burdened by these indecent feelings! Purify me!”

Frigga’s eyes filled with tears, she cupped her son’s face, trying to find any sign of hope in his dark green eyes. But all she saw was a shadow, one so dark that threatened to take his soul away.

“I see… It’ll be as you wish, my love, if that will save you.” She barely managed to say.

“Thank you…” He kissed her hand slowly, closing his eyes.

 

 

 

She said he had a seizure, after dinner one day, after which he was taken to his bedchamber where the best of care was provided to him. A seizure, as a side effect of his long slumber, one that came unexpectedly and couldn’t be stopped, leaving him in a state of haziness, much resembling to a state a body enters in a case of high fever.

Three days later, he recovered – all was well once again, but a small consequence, his memories of the past 12 hundred years have been completely erased, forever vanished, taken from him eternally. His mind was left at the same place as his brothers, remembering only things from way back, their childhood and youth, their travels across the realms, the endless adventures.

“Ha! I knew you couldn’t be stronger than me. You lost your memories as well!” Thor gloated when he came to visit him for the first time.

“Shut up, moron!” Loki grunted.

“You just took it longer to lose it, meaning you are even more pathetic than we first thought. You can’t even lose your memories at once, little brother.” Thor laughed, messing with Loki’s hair, ruffling it up.

“Stop it, idiot!” Loki was not having it, he slapped Thor’s hands away, kneeling in his bed, pushing his brother away when he tried to sit on the covers, next to him. “Don’t dirty my linen, you oaf!”

 

 

“It’s so nice to see them fight like this!” Odin said with excitement in his voice. “Now there’s a good use of a bed, to give your brother a proper beating, not what they were doing in it before.” He coughed and shuddered with discomfort, old images resurfacing in his mind.

Frigga grunted, giving him a harsh look under her brow. She had a bad feeling about everything.

“It’s as if they are reduced to children again. I barely managed to survive their teenage years, and look at them now.” She sighed.

“I like them this way.” Odin shrugged.

“Thor! Stop that! Leave your brother alone he still needs to rest!” She yelled across the room, warning Thor not to treat Loki too roughly.

“Now say it!” Thor gritted through his teeth as he held Loki in a headlock.

“Die, Thor!” Loki tried to free himself of the grasp.

“Admit I am stronger… and smarter… and better looking!”

“Boys!” Frigga was losing her patience.

“Oh leave them… at least they’re not… you know.” Odin said. “This time we are going to stop the feelings before they even develop, even if it means separating them forever.”

Frigga’s body shivered upon hearing this… Her husband could really be a cruel man sometimes.


End file.
